For Honor and the Corner Office
by Sherrri
Summary: AU. Matt competes with his coworker, Light Yagami, for the corner office, and he is determined to win at all costs. This requires his roommate, Mello, to pretend to be his girlfriend at the company Christmas party. MattxMello.
1. The Plan

Disclaimer: The Deathnote characters in this story belong to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata, not me.

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For Honor and the Corner Office

Chapter One: The Plan

It was about five in the afternoon and Matt sat in his cubicle, watching a fired coworker carry a last box of belongings out of the corner office and down the stairs. Matt worked at a rising software company and he loved his job. Being what some considered a technology savant, he was easily the company's most valuable programmer.

Therefore, it was understandable that when the nice corner office became available, Matt was expecting that he would get it. He couldn't wait to get out of his stupid little cloth-covered box and move into a real office with a door.

There was just one problem, and its name was Light Yagami. He was a handsome Japanese man who had somehow managed to convince the management that he was important despite his having no talent except for lying.

Matt thought of him as his arch-nemesis. He always managed to claim credit for Matt's work, and now, he was the only competition for the office that Matt rightfully deserved. And their boss, Mr. Wammy, seemed to be favoring him.

Matt was busy fuming about this while he waited for his program to compile, but he perked his ears up when he heard Mr. Wammy's voice coming from the water cooler. He was talking to Yagami. Matt's eyes narrowed when he heard them both laugh at something Yagami said.

'_So, he thinks he can charm his way into the corner office, does he? We'll see about that_!' Matt thought. He stood up and approached them on the pretense of getting a drink. They nodded in acknowledgment and continued their conversation.

"Yeah, so Misa and I are getting married next month." Yagami said, smiling that horrible sycophantic smile of his. Misa was his girlfriend, another person whose charm covered up her lack of talent. Matt had to admit they belonged together.

"I'm glad to hear it!" Said Mr. Wammy, "She'll be coming to the Christmas party then?"

"Of course." Yagami replied, smirking at Matt. Matt cursed mentally as Mr. Wammy began spouting hackneyed marriage jokes. Wammy was an insufferable family man. He and Yagami would probably spend the whole Christmas party bonding over stories of their wives and Matt would end up stuck in a cubicle forever.

"So, Matt, do you have a girlfriend?" Wammy asked. Matt answered before he realized what he was saying.

"Yeah, her name's, um, Mello. We've been dating for a few months."

"Mello, huh? That's an interesting name." Yagami said with an eyebrow raised, clearly aware that Matt was lying.

"Uh, yeah. Her parents were hippies." Matt said. Yagami and Wammy gave him funny looks. He was mentally panicking. Mello was actually Matt's roommate and best friend, and also not a girl, but for some reason it was the first name that came to mind.

"Is she coming with you to the Christmas party?" Mr. Wammy asked. Matt cursed himself even as he answered,

"Yes, of course."

"Good! I look forward to meeting her!" Wammy said in an annoyingly jolly voice as he clapped Matt on the back, catching him off guard and causing him to spill a bit of water down his front.Matt nodded, finished his water, and went back to his cubicle, in which he proceeded to scream a chorus of mental curses while he finished working.

He got home to his apartment at seven and found Mello in the kitchen with a bar of chocolate. He was dressed in shiny skin-tight leather head-to-toe, as was his habit.

"Hey, what's up?" He asked with his mouth full.

"Nothing." Matt answered. Mello shrugged and went into the living room, which was only separated from the kitchen by the counter.

Matt watched him as he walked, noticing the slimness of his arms and body, the way he swayed his hips when he walked, and the rather feminine cut of his hair. He was short for a man, only about 5'4", and his face was very pretty for a man's, and Matt couldn't help thinking that Mello could almost certainly pass for a woman. Mello felt his eyes on him and looked up.

"Why are you staring at me?" Mello asked, irritated. Matt blinked and shook his head. Mello would never agree to what he was thinking. He should just find a real girl and convince her to do it, except he didn't know any girls because he was a huge geek. He had no other choice.

"Are you alright?" Mello asked upon seeing Matt apparently thinking very hard and ignoring his question.

"Mello, you're my best friend, right?" Matt asked, intending to trap Mello.

"Uh, sure…" Mello answered warily, raising an eyebrow.

"And friends do each other favors, yeah?"

"Oh no, what do you want?" Mello asked in a long-suffering voice. Matt sighed.

"Um, well…haven't you ever wondered what it would be like to be a girl?" Matt said. Mello gave him a look that indicated clearly his concern for his friend's sanity.

"I mean, would you ever, like, dress up as a girl, just…you know, to see if you could fool people and…stuff…" Matt trailed off.

"Matt, why do you want me to dress as a girl? What's going on?" Mello asked, his concern changing to amusement at Matt's verbal prowess.

"Okay, here's the thing…the corner office at work has opened up and I needed to have a girlfriend in order to suck up to my boss and beat stupid Light Yagami to get it and so I told him I had one and that her name is Mello and I said she would be coming to the company Christmas party, so now I'm screwed and I'll be stuck in a box with people reading over my shoulder and making noise and shit forever!" Matt finished his ramble without drawing breath and seemed utterly devastated, so of course Mello burst out laughing. He even pointed a little.

"And now you want me to pretend I'm your girlfriend? Why did you tell him her name was Mello?" He laughed.

"I don't know! It was the first name that popped into my head!" Matt said, burying his face in his hands. This was terrible. Mello would never help him. Mello enjoyed seeing him suffer too much. He would just make fun of him forever, and would probably start visiting him in his cubicle just to do it more, and Yagami would watch and laugh, and…

"Okay, I'll do it." Mello said, smirking. Matt looked up at him, shocked.

"You will?"

"Sure. It could be fun…or interesting, at the very least. I've got nothing going on." He said. Matt narrowed his eyes suspiciously. This could work, or Mello could be setting him up for a horrible joke at the party. But it was a chance he would have to take, if only because Light Yagami was a giant asshole and had to be stopped at all costs. It was a matter of principle now.

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A/N: So, review and tell me if you like the idea and want me to continue!


	2. The Preparation

Disclaimer: Death Note is not mine.

Warning: Spoiler for L's real name, even though that's not actually a spoiler, because it doesn't spoil anything, because it doesn't matter, because it's not in the manga. Whatever.

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Chapter 2: The Preparation

Matt went to work the next day like he always did. It was Thursday and the party was on Friday night, so Mello had less than two days to figure out how to be a girl. Matt had given him some money to buy girly things, like makeup and a dress and stuff, and sent him shopping.

Meanwhile, Matt sat in his cubicle; his tiny, gray, prison-like cubicle. He could hear Light Yagami talking to Matsuda, whom Matt hated, and who was probably the most useless employee at the company. He also happened to be Mr. Wammy's nephew. Matt scowled at his computer screen.

Yagami didn't even like Matsuda. He was blatantly sucking up, and, as usual, not doing any work. Matsuda was too stupid to realize it, though, and would probably be telling his uncle all about how nice Light Yagami was and how mean Matt was, just sitting at his computer all day _working_.

'_Oh well, two can play at this game'_ Matt thought. He got up and walked over to Lawliet's office. Mr. Wammy treated Lawliet like the son he never had, and he was actually _almost_ on Matt's level in his knowledge of computers. Everyone at work called him L. He was sitting with his feet up on his chair and eating candy when Matt came in.

"Hey L, how's it going?"

"I'm not going to help you get the office." He responded tonelessly. Matt sighed and went back to his cubicle. Sucking up only works on morons.

Matt spent the rest of his workday trying to keep his eye from twitching every time he heard Yagami laugh. It seemed like Yagami went and talked to everyone in the building and got them all on his side. Mello had better be pretty damned convincing at that party. Matt went home that evening to find Mello in the kitchen again.

"Did you find everything you needed?" Matt asked as soon as he saw him.

"Yeah, look, I got fake boobs!" Mello said with joy as he reached into a bag on the counter and pulled out two squishy-looking flesh-colored things.

"Sweet. What else did you get?" Matt said. Mello shook his head and picked up the bag.

"You'll see at the party." Mello smirked.

"What? No! I have to make sure you really look like a girl beforehand!" Matt said, not trusting Mello to be completely on his side.

"No, you don't. I can decide that for myself, and you don't really have a choice either way." Mello had a point.

"Fine." Matt said. This was not good. Mello could be planning to do something horrible that Matt would regret every day as he jealously watched Yagami shut the door to his office. He imagined his nemesis would look back over his shoulder and smirk at Matt as the door shut. His fist clenched with the desire to punch imaginary-Yagami in the face, then he noticed Mello pulling a pair of strappy black high-heeled shoes from the bag.

"I should probably practice walking in these beforehand, though." Mello said as he sat down and started to put them on. They were stilettos with three-inch heels, so yeah, he probably did need to practice.

But Matt wished he wouldn't as he watched Mello stand up and walk around the kitchen, noticing the way they exaggerated the natural sway of his hips. It caused him to feel a certain discomfort below the waist. This was also not good.

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The next day at work held more of the same for Matt, listening to Yagami do his rounds. This time, though, he was also nervous about the party that night. He was supposed to pick up Mello after he got off work and bring him right back to the office, and there would be no time for him to fix anything if Mello had done something wrong. It was his worrying that caused him not to notice as Yagami came up behind him. That and the fact that Yagami was very, very sneaky.

"Hey Matt, what's up?" He said, startling Matt enough that he almost fell out of his chair.

"Uh, nothing, just…uh, working, because I'm at my job, how about you?" quoth Matt eloquently.

"Oh, I just thought I'd tell you that I'm really looking forward to meeting your imaginary girlfriend." Yagami smirked in exactly the manner of imaginary-Yagami and Matt's fist clenched involuntarily. Yagami noticed and raised an eyebrow, and Matt laughed awkwardly.

"Ha, um, she's not imaginary, you'll see her at the party."

"Riiight." Said Yagami as he walked away. Matt scowled when he realized that everyone in the office had heard the conversation, and now he would have to bring Mello whether he looked right or not. If he made any excuses, they would all think Matt made her up, which made Matt feel indignant regardless of how true it was.

That afternoon when Matt returned to the apartment, he waited outside the door of Mello's bedroom for him to emerge in full feminine glory.

"Come on, Mello! We're going to be late, and every second we're late is another second for Yagami to show off his trophy wife and make Wammy love him!"

"Okay, just a second!" Mello replied. Through the door, Matt could hear him fumbling about the room. He heard the snap of elastic a few times.

"Bras are really uncomfortable!" Mello whined, and then without warning he opened the door.

Matt's jaw dropped. Mello was wearing a fitted dress, the color of which Matt would have described as 'hooker red'. He had on eye makeup and his lipstick matched the dress. His hair was the same as usual.

The reason Matt was shocked was that Mello really, _really_ looked like a girl. And not just a girl, but a hot girl. A freakishly hot girl. Much hotter than Misa. This was bad.

Well, actually, it was very, very good for his purposes; it was only bad because Matt really did not want to be attracted to his best friend. Then he thought of the smirk falling from Yagami's face when he saw Matt's date, and cackled evilly.

"What are you laughing at?" Mello asked, scowling. "I'm only doing this because you needed me to!"

"Oh, I wasn't laughing at you, I was laughing at…never mind." Matt mumbled and grabbed Mello's arm to pull him to the car.

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A/N: So, next chapter is teh party! Reviews are way cool, dude.


	3. The Party

Disclaimer: Death Note is not mine.

A/N: So, I'm a little worried about this chapter because even I don't know what's going on because everyone's insane. Just so you know.

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Chapter 3: The Party

When Mello and Matt got to the car, they were already a few minutes late to the party. It wasn't that far, though, so they would be there before Yagami could ruin Matt's life. And yes, if Matt lost the office, it most definitely would ruin his life. Still, Matt couldn't wait until he was out of the car. Mello was even more insufferable as a girl, and the fact that Matt couldn't stop staring at him was only a part of that.

"My legs are cold." Mello whined. "And my bra itches, and this underwear is uncomfortable, and I hate you."

"You're wearing women's underwear too?" Matt asked, not hearing anything else Mello said. Mello didn't answer; he just stared at his shoes. He might have been blushing, but Matt was too distracted by the mental images to notice. He let it go.

"Let me hear your girl voice." He said. Mello cleared his throat and said, in a voice that was slightly higher, but not too much, so it actually sounded real,

"Matt, do you think I'm pretty?"

"That was good, you really sound like a girl!" Matt said.

"Am I a pretty girl?" Mello asked in the same voice.

"Uh, sure."

"No, really…what do you think?" Mello switched to his normal voice. Matt gave him a funny look. He really didn't want to answer that question.

"Okay, never mind." Mello sighed. They drove the rest of the way in silence. Mello kept rubbing his bare legs with his hands to warm them, and Matt kept shifting in his seat and trying to keep his eyes on the road.

When they got to the party, Matt immediately searched the room for his target audience, the jolly old man who held Matt's dignity and honor in his hands. Everyone he worked with was at the party. He saw L talking to Wedy and Aiber over by the dessert table and Matsuda annoying Mogi and Aizawa at a table near the door. Mikami and Takada were flirting by the punch bowl.

Naturally, Mr. Wammy was at the far end of the room, having already been cornered by Light and Misa. Matt's eyes narrowed at the smile on Yagami's face and he twisted his arm into Mello's and casually moseyed across the party to them, after stopping to introduce Mello to everyone he passed along the way.

"Hey, Mr. Wammy, I'd like you to meet my girlfriend, Mello." He said when he reached them. Wammy's eyes widened and his eyebrows rose when he first saw the blonde, then he smiled as he shook Mello's hand.

"Well, well, the pleasure is mine!" Wammy said jovially.

Matt looked at Light and watched the smile fall from his face, just like he'd imagined. Matt smirked, until a different, sleazier kind of smile replaced Light's other one.

"And this is Light Yagami and his fiancé, Misa." Matt said to Mello. Light's new smile was more like a leer, and instead of shaking Mello's hand, he brought it to his lips and kissed it, then held onto it for much too long. Even Misa noticed despite her notable lack of intelligence, and she began glaring at Mello.

"Nice to meet you, Mello. I was beginning to think Matt made you up." He said, in what he probably thought was a seductive tone of voice. Mello laughed, because it was true, his friend was a loser. Matt scowled, and without planning to, wrapped a possessive arm around Mello's waist. Mello shot him an amused look and said,

"I'm going to go get some punch."

"Okay, baby." Matt let him go.

"Wow, Matt, I must say I'm impressed." Light said, his eyes following Mello all the way across the room. Misa was pursing her lips and her jaw was clenched, but Yagami wasn't paying attention to her.

"Yeah, she's really something…" Matt said. Just then, Misa happened to spot L over by the dessert table, where he was now alone and eating chocolate-covered strawberries like there was no tomorrow.

"Light, honey, let's go talk to L." She said firmly, and so they did, leaving Matt with Mr. Wammy.

"So, Matt. Word on the street is that you really want the new office." Wammy said. _Word on the street?_

"Yeah, it'd be really nice to have my own office." He replied.

"Well, to be honest, I'm still trying to decide between you and Light, and I won't have a decision until next week."

"That's alright, I can wait." Said Matt, even though he couldn't, and he suspected Wammy of taking pleasure in tormenting him.

"You and Mello should come have dinner with my family some night! How's tomorrow sound?" Wammy said. _Yep, definitely a sadist._

"Oh, I dunno…" Matt started and then trailed off, seeing the stern look on Wammy's face. "I mean, yeah, sure, we'd love to!"

"Excellent! Wow, Mello seems really popular already. That was quick." Wammy said, looking over Matt's shoulder. Matt turned and saw Mello with a crowd of people around him, and he seemed to be telling a very entertaining story, gesturing wildly while everyone laughed. _Weird._

Yagami had his hand on Mello's shoulder, and if there had been some way to kill him by, like, writing his name down in a notebook, Misa probably would have done it. She was glaring daggers at the both of them. Matt quickly said goodbye to Mr. Wammy and joined the crowd.

"…So then, Matt comes running out in his underwear, like, 'Where's the controller!' and then he slips on the chocolate syrup on the floor and gets his head stuck in the chair!" Mello finished to a wave of uproarious laughter. Matt was horrified.

Yagami, Matsuda, and L saw him and started laughing harder and pointing at him. Well, L didn't laugh and point so much as smile slightly and look appreciatively at Mello's legs, but it pissed Matt off just as much. Everyone laughed even harder when Matt marched over and dragged Mello out of the crowd and through a heavy door into the empty stairwell.

"Why would you tell my coworkers that story?" Matt shouted when they were out of hearing range. Mello laughed.

"I thought it would be more convincing if I had stories."

"But why _that_ story?"

"Because it's funny." Mello explained. Matt decided his suspicions had been justified.

"I knew it! I knew you were out to get me! You're trying to ruin my life! And stop letting Yagami touch you!" He screamed.

"_What?_" Mello said incredulously.

"Uh, never mind." Matt said, and then he ran back through the door to the party. Mello chased after him, but stopped running when they got back inside just in time to see Misa slap Light across the face.

"You stay away from that whore or the wedding's off!" She cried.

"I didn't do anything!" Said Light.

"Like hell you didn't!" She yelled and then ran out the door. Light looked for a second like he might cry. Matt was delighted. All other conversations had silenced in order to watch the exchange. Mr. Wammy had seen everything, and he did not look like he approved. Matt would get the office for sure. Mello nudged him and whispered,

"See? I helped you."

"Yeah, I guess so…" Matt said. He noticed everyone staring at Mello, waiting for him to comment on the situation. Mello theatrically rolled his eyes and grabbed Matt's hand, dragging him over to the punch bowl. As the buzz of conversation resumed, Matt saw Yagami approaching him and Mello.

"What do you want?" He snapped at Light.

"I'm just getting some punch." He replied, looking rather pitiful. Matt felt slightly guilty for a second, but then he saw Yagami 'accidentally' brush bodily against Mello as he reached for a cup. His fists clenched, but he didn't say anything, mostly because he saw Mello give Light a sort of flirtatious smile in return.

"Mello, can I talk to you for a second?" Matt said in the sweetest voice he could manage while his teeth were grinding. Mello raised his eyebrows and followed Matt when he stomped back into the same stairwell again. They caught a few questioning looks along the way, and Mello smiled apologetically in return while Matt didn't notice.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Matt yelled as soon as the door shut.

"What do you mean?" Mello asked.

"You're flirting with Yagami!"

"I am not! And even if I was, what's it to you?" Mello whined. Matt looked at him incredulously.

"It's Yagami, my arch-nemesis! The spawn of Satan! And how do you think it makes me look when I bring my girlfriend to a party and she goes around flirting with everyone there?"

"I have not been flirting with everyone here! I've barely even spoken to Yagami! You're acting like a jealous boyfriend." Mello crossed his arms.

"That's what I'm supposed to be!" Matt exclaimed, throwing his arms in the air. It was a good thing he had an excuse for his accusations, or else he might have given away more than he wanted to.

"Whatever." Mello said, then he turned around and pushed the door open, reentering the party. Matt followed, but Mello shook him off and went to make conversation with Matsuda. Matt sighed and headed over to the dessert table, where L had remained throughout the night.

"Hello, Matt." L greeted him as he lifted a forkful of chocolate cake to his mouth.

"Hey."

"I think there is a seventy-five percent chance that you will be getting the office." He said suddenly.

"Really?" Matt said.

"Yes. Mr. Wammy does seem to think Light has been out of line." L confirmed.

"Yeah, he really has." Matt said, not wanting to show the full extent of his feelings of triumph.

"Mello's not really a girl, is she?" L said, crushing Matt's triumph under an avalanche of horror.

"W-what?" He stuttered.

"Mello has several mannerisms that distinguish him from a girl. They are subtle, but they are there." He deadpanned, without a trace of doubt in his voice. Matt gave a furtive glance around the immediate area to make sure nobody was could hear L, then he whispered,

"You…you won't tell anyone, will you?"

"I will not. Although I do not enjoy seeing you cause trouble for Light."

"Oh, so you're on his side." Matt said accusingly.

"Of course. He was my first ever friend."

"I knew you before he did!"

"So?" L replied. _Ouch_. Matt scowled at him and turned around, just in time to see Light lean in and kiss Mello's cheek briefly, in front of everyone. _What the fuck?_ Hot fury boiled up inside Matt, compelling him to march over to them, shove Yagami out of the way, and press Mello up against the wall. He did not hesitate before kissing Mello roughly, but was slightly surprised when Mello kissed him back. '_Mello's a good kisser_,' he thought vaguely before being brought back to his senses when Matsuda laughingly said,

"Hey, get a room, you two!" Everyone at the party was staring at them as they broke apart, blushing. Most of the people were laughing and rolling their eyes, while others were shocked by their impropriety. L simply smirked at Matt.

"Maybe we will." Mello said, taking Matt's hand and pulling him out the door, away from the party. It was a good exit, Matt supposed, as they walked across the dark parking lot to the car. But it was really awkward now.

"Why did you do that?" Mello asked, not looking at Matt in favor of the asphalt in front of him and stepping carefully in his high heels.

"Yagami kissed you, I couldn't just let that go. I'm supposed to be your boyfriend." Matt said.

"So you were acting." Mello stated.

"Well, yeah." Matt said, only half lying, but then he wondered if that was the right answer when he saw Mello scowl at the pavement.

"Well, at least this is over with." Mello said dejectedly. Matt wondered for a moment what he was so upset about, but then he remembered something else.

"Um, actually…Mr. Wammy wants us to have dinner at his house tomorrow." Matt said. Mello gave him a murderous look.

"And you said yes without asking me?" Mello screeched. Matt quailed.

"I'm sorry, but we have to! Please?" He begged. Mello glared at him for a few moments, so he made the most pathetic puppy eyes he could.

"...Fine." Mello sighed, calming down. They drove back to the apartment in silence, the way they had come.

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A/N: See? They're all crazy! And also, review.


	4. The Painkillers

Disclaimer: I don't own the Death Note characters.

A/N: This chapter is probably not as funny as the others. I've been sick the past few days and have taken it out on poor Mello.

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Chapter 4: The Painkillers

The next day, Mello wouldn't come out of his room until around lunchtime, at which point he shuffled pajama-clad into the kitchen to retrieve a bar of chocolate. Matt was sitting on the couch with his laptop when he spotted Mello.

"Mello, are you feeling okay?" Matt asked, because his friend looked a little faint. Mello nodded weakly and started slowly making his way back to his room.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Matt asked, noticing the way Mello braced his hand on his doorframe as he passed through, as if he was having trouble standing.

"I'm just a little dizzy…" Mello murmured, almost inaudibly. Matt furrowed his eyebrows and got up to help. He got to the door and wrapped an arm around Mello's waist to help him keep his balance on the way to the bed.

He put Mello's chocolate bar on the nightstand and laid him down, pulling the covers up to his chin; Mello let him, which was a sure sign that something was wrong.

"Do you need anything else?" Matt asked, standing up straight. Mello reached out rather blindly and ran his hand down Matt's forearm a few times, sending a pleasant sensation shooting up his arm and making him shiver slightly.

"Stay here." Mello slurred, looking like he was about to fall asleep. Matt hesitated for a moment and then awkwardly climbed over Mello to sit next to him on the other side of the bed. Mello kept a weak hold on his arm even as his eyes slid closed.

A while after Mello had fallen asleep, Matt called Mr. Wammy on his cell phone from his spot on the bed.

"Hi, Mr. Wammy, it's Matt…I'm sorry, but I don't think we can make it to dinner tonight, Mello's sick…yeah, h-she has been nauseous all day…uh, yeah, I guess we can probably do it next weekend…" Mr. Wammy seemed rather unhappy about the cancellation, and Matt cursed after he hung up the phone. What a great time for Mello to get sick!

"I'm sorry…" Mello whispered, having woken up again during the phone call and rolled onto his side, facing Matt. He really did look sorry, and rather feverish (his delirium was probably the only reason he actually apologized), and Matt felt guilty for blaming him.

"It's okay, it's not your fault, and you didn't even have to help me in the first place." Matt said, scooting forward a little and getting under the covers so he could lie down. Mello didn't say anything, but his eyes were squeezed tightly shut and he looked like he was in pain.

"Do you want to go to the doctor?" Matt asked softly. Mello shook his head violently.

"I'll be fine." He said, still slurring his words together as if he were drunk.

"Okay…" Matt said, not quite sure if he should trust Mello's judgment at the moment. Mello shifted a little closer to him, and Matt's breathing hitched as he felt Mello's stomach come into contact with his hip.

"Could you get me some Tylenol or something?" Mello asked with his head leaning on Matt's chest.

"Yeah." Matt said, jumping up immediately and running to the bathroom. He rummaged through the drawer that they kept their medicine in and found nothing that would help. They were out of Tylenol and any other painkillers and fever reducers they may have had.

"Fuck." Matt said, and he went back into Mello's room.

"We don't have any." He said. Mello groaned. "Should I go to the store? Will you be okay here by yourself for a little bit?" Mello nodded with his arm flung over his eyes. Matt went and grabbed his keys off the counter and hurried out the door, intending to return as quickly as possible.

When he got to the grocery store, he began to make his way straight to the medicine section, which was at the very back on the left, next to the pharmacy thing. His pace sped up to a jog when he thought of Mello waiting for him, probably very lonely and pathetic.

As he rounded the corner at the end of an aisle, he ran directly into someone's shopping cart coming the other way, catching it in the stomach so that the upper half of his body landed face down inside it.

The person pushing it must have had a very strong grip on it, because it didn't even seem to move in the collision. As Matt pushed himself out of the cart, he saw that it was full of candies and cakes and fruit. He looked up to see L blinking at him.

"Matt. You seem to be in a hurry." L stated.

"Yeah, I'm just here to get medicine for Mello, he's sick." Matt said. L raised his eyebrows.

"So you really are lovers then. I suppose your emotions at the party did seem a bit too real to have been entirely an act, although Light thought otherwise…" He said in a monotone, but with the slightest trace of disappointment, which would have confused Matt if he hadn't felt oddly panicky over the conclusion L had drawn in his first statement.

"Oh, no, we're not together. He's just my friend, that's all. We're roommates. Really. That's all." Matt stammered, before flinching at how ridiculously defensive he sounded. L quirked an eyebrow. Then Matt's brain processed the rest of what L said.

"But what are you saying about Light?"

"He didn't believe Mello was really your girlfriend, even after he met him. He was testing you throughout the party last night." L replied.

"B-but, he actually kissed Mello! That was just a test?"

"Yes. You don't think he just goes around randomly kissing other people's girlfriends just because he finds them attractive, do you?"

"I wouldn't put it past him." Matt muttered darkly, as the smirking image of Yagami flashed in his mind. "But why would he piss off Misa like that just for a test? And in front of Mr. Wammy! That doesn't even make sense."

"Mr. Wammy and Misa were in on Light's plan." L said. Matt's eyes widened in horror. There was a conspiracy against him!

"What?" Matt asked incredulously.

"Light is very persuasive. He convinced them to be suspicious of Mello. They played along." L explained casually.

"But _you_ told me that Mr. Wammy was mad at Light and I would be getting the office!"

"Light is very persuasive." L shrugged. Matt's eyes widened further in even more horror.

"You haven't told him Mello's a guy, have you?" Matt insisted, grabbing L's shoulders and shaking him a little. L was unfazed.

"No. And I will not. It is far more interesting this way." L said with a hint of a smile.

"Is anyone actually on my side?" Matt asked, frustrated. L looked like he was thinking for a few seconds, and then he shook his head. Matt let out an exasperated sound that was somewhere between a scream and a groan. L continued to be unfazed.

"But I do think you still have a chance of getting the office. Mr. Wammy seemed to think you passed the test." L stated. Matt became suspicious.

"Why are you telling me all of this now? Am I supposed to trust you?"

"Trust no one, Matt." L said, bizarrely dramatic considering the rather mundane circumstances. "I should probably go now." He finished, turning his cart and walking past Matt with his usual hunched-over posture. Matt's mind was racing. Was L telling the truth?

If Yagami and Wammy were conspiring against Matt like this, had Yagami already won? No, not necessarily. Perhaps Wammy had just agreed that Matt actually having a hot girlfriend was suspicious and decided to let Light test it. If only Mello wasn't so hot, it would solve all sorts of problems!

But Matt had reacted to Light's tests the way he would have if Mello were his girlfriend, whether he had planned to or not. As Matt decided there was still hope, he remembered that Mello was waiting for him. He ran and got the Tylenol and hurried back to the apartment as quickly as he could.

When he got back, he found Mello still in bed, trying to open his bar of chocolate with shaking hands. Matt took it and opened it for him, which should have earned him a scowl from Mello, but didn't.

"Thanks." Mello said, smiling weakly. Matt nodded.

Matt left the new bottle of Tylenol on the bed while he went and got a glass of water. Mello took the pills and drained the entire glass on water without drawing breath before lying back down and pulling Matt's arm to make him lie next to him again. Matt sighed and did so, and Mello sort of snuggled against him like before.

Matt was really uncomfortable. He lay there with his whole body tense, trying to avoid touching Mello any more than he already was, lest Mello should suddenly become coherent and beat him up or something.

But then Mello shivered, and Matt couldn't stop himself from wrapping his arms around his friend and holding him close. He drifted off to sleep that way.

* * *

A/N: So, for some reason I'm in love with the image of L pushing a shopping cart. I'm probably delirious. But hey, reviews are the best medicine there is. I believe the review berry grows in a remote region of the Amazon rainforest, where it has been used by the native people to treat various illnesses for generations, until recently having been discovered by the scientists who scavenged the region for plants with medicinal value before turning it over to some meat company to cut down and make room for cows, which were then slaughtered to feed us and make us sick. Please excuse my strange ramblings, I'm a strange person.


	5. The Panic

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note. The characters are not mine.

* * *

Chapter 5: The Panic

When Matt woke up to find himself wrapped around Mello, it was about five in the morning. Mello was awake, but had made no effort to extricate himself from Matt's embrace.

He also seemed to be feeling a bit better, as the color had returned to his cheeks and he was looking at Matt with complete lucidity. Matt jumped when he was awake enough to be aware of Mello's proximity, and Mello snorted.

"Do you always cuddle me when you don't think I'll notice?" He asked.

"I was not cuddling you! I was just…you were cold…and I felt bad for you…" Matt trailed off. Mello smirked at him.

"Riiight." He said. Matt was reminded of Yagami and was thus compelled to hastily scramble up out of the bed.

He glared at Mello for a second and Mello smirked back, then the phone rang in the kitchen. He rushed out to answer it only to almost drop it upon hearing the voice of Satan on the other end. Okay, so it was actually Light Yagami. He sounds different over the phone.

"What do you want?" Matt asked rudely, trying to make it very clear that the call was not appreciated. Who calls someone at five in the morning anyway?

"Oh, nothing from _you_. I was hoping Mello would answer, actually." Yagami said smoothly. Matt fumed.

"Why would I let you talk to my girlfriend after that stunt you pulled at the party?" He said.

"See, that's the thing. I was hoping to apologize for my behavior. And I heard she was sick, so I wanted to wish her well." Yagami said.

"Where did you hear that?" Matt asked.

"Mr. Wammy told me."

"You've been talking to him?"

"Yeah, he invited Misa and me to dinner last night after you cancelled. It was fun, I think we really bonded, you know?" Yagami's friendly tone betrayed an undercurrent of mocking sadism that Matt was sure he could physically feel radiating from the phone.

"Oh. Well, I'll tell Mello what you said." Matt replied carefully, intending to hang up before Light's voice cut in.

"Actually, I was wondering if I could do it in person. I believe I'm in your neighborhood right now, so it should only take me about fifteen minutes to get there." Yagami said. Matt's eyes went wide.

"W-What?" He stuttered.

"She is there, right?" Light said, and Matt realized that he probably suspected Mello of not really living with Matt. He probably thought Mello was a hooker that Matt had hired for the party or something. _Damn Mello's hotness!_

"Yeah, but…" Matt stammered.

"Good, I'll be right over then." Yagami hung up the phone. Matt panicked. They needed to hurry. Mello had only fifteen minutes to make himself look like a girl. _It takes real girls longer than that!_ He cursed loudly enough to be heard in the next room.

"Matt, are you okay?" Mello called. Matt ran back into the bedroom frantically.

"No, Yagami's coming over in fifteen minutes to see you!" He said.

"What?" Mello yelled, sitting up. "You invited him _now_?"

"He sort of invited himself! What are we going to do?" Matt paced back and forth by the foot of the bed.

"Well, don't let him in! People can't just invite themselves over at five in the morning!"

"But he knows we're supposed to be here! He'll know I'm hiding something if I don't let him in! He'll think you don't really live here! He probably planned this as another stupid test!" Matt said desperately. Mello sat still for a moment and sighed, then he began to climb out of bed with some difficulty. He obviously wasn't feeling as well as he looked.

"Fine, I'll just put on some makeup and I'll stay in bed with the covers over my chest…but would a girl even wear makeup if she were sick in bed? Maybe I'll just use a little bit…" Mello muttered, mostly to himself.

He was unsteady on his feet, but made his way into the bathroom on his own. Matt followed and watched him apply a bit of eyeliner and mascara, which made him look inexplicably much girlier than before. He also put on some pinkish lip-gloss that made his lips only a little bit darker than usual.

Matt wondered why he even had the gloss, as he hadn't worn it at the party. But Matt didn't have time to wonder about Mello, because it was right then that the doorbell rang. Both Matt and Mello gasped, and Matt decided his roommate looked girly enough.

He put his arms behind Mello's back and knees, picking his friend up like a baby and carrying him to the bed, where Mello laid down, scowling as he began arranging the blankets while Matt went to answer the door. Trust Light to show up ten minutes earlier than he said he would. _Asshole_. Matt took a deep breath before opening the door to see a smirking cretin on the other side.

"Hey, Matt." Yagami looked over his shoulder into the apartment as he greeted him. He was holding a bouquet of flowers and a 'Get Well' card. Matt's eyes narrowed when he saw them, but he moved to let Light in.

"Hi." Matt responded coldly.

"So where's Mello?" Yagami asked, perfectly alert and cheerful. A morning person, of course. Disgusting.

"H-She's in there." Matt said, pointing to the bedroom door. He followed when Light headed in that direction and he held his breath as Light pushed the door open.

He was relieved to see that Mello looked very convincing, with the thick comforter pulled up to his neck, hiding his body shape. Yagami looked more than a little disappointed that Mello was actually there and Matt had passed the test. Matt cheered inwardly. This incident would only make their ruse infinitely more convincing if it worked out. Yagami pasted the friendly smile back on his face and strode into the room to stand by Mello's bedside.

Matt's mind wandered off as Yagami and Mello exchanged the most boring pleasantries in the history of conversation, probably because they actually didn't know each other because they had only met once. Unable to pay attention despite the dire circumstances, Matt left the room, thinking that standing there watching just made him look suspicious anyway.

However, he had only gone about ten paces from the door when he heard Mello give a frightened shriek. He immediately turned around and rushed back to the room, ready to beat Yagami to a pulp, but when he threw the door open, he just saw Mello laughing and looking at the card Light had given him. They both gave Matt questioning looks when he barged in.

"What did you scream for?" Matt asked, feeling stupid.

"Oh, nothing, just this card startled me." Mello said, turning it around so Matt could see the inside of it. It was a pop-up card with a rather scary-looking clown in it. There was some joke written underneath it but Matt couldn't read it from where he was. He rolled his eyes and Mello pouted.

"What? I'm ill. I'm delicate." Mello defended himself haughtily.

"Whatever. Try not to swoon, we're fresh out of smelling salts." Matt said. Yagami watched this exchange without any apparent interest before speaking up abruptly.

"Well, I'd better be on my way, then. I just wanted to wish you well." He said to Mello in a ridiculously formal voice, bowing slightly before turning to leave the room.

Matt went with him to show him out, and as they crossed the living room, Light noticed the door to Matt's bedroom. It was open and the bed was visible.

"You and Mello don't sleep in the same room, then?" He said with an eyebrow raised. Matt forced a small laugh as he ran over to close the door hurriedly, then he flinched at how suspicious the action must have appeared.

"Um, not that it's any of your business, but yeah we do. We…well, we switch back and forth…uh, it's good to have a room of one's own, though…so, yeah." He finished lamely. Light had a horrible _knowing_ look on his face as Matt held the front door open for him.

"I'm not sure what you're hiding, Matt, but I'm going to find out." He said in a casual, singsong voice as he stepped outside and walked away, not looking back. Matt slammed the door and let out a loud groan, burying his face in his hands. After a while, he stopped brooding and made his way back to Mello's room.

"Is he gone?" Mello asked when he saw him.

"Yeah." Matt sighed.

"Good, this comforter is way too hot." The blonde said, kicking it and all the other covers off himself and onto the floor. He had obviously been sweating a bit in their heat. His pajamas were sort of clinging to his skin in a way that made Matt blush and look away. Really, why was the material so thin? It was indecent. Especially when Mello moved to get up and the shifting of his thigh muscles was clearly visible through the black fabric.

"Why are you getting up?" Matt asked, blocking Mello from doing so while trying to make his eyes rest somewhere appropriate.

"I need chocolate."

"I'll get it, you should get some rest."

"I'm not an invalid, I can get it myself!" Mello said angrily. Perhaps his pride had been wounded when Matt had carried him earlier. He tried to shove Matt out of the way so he could stand, but he was weakened by his illness and only ended up pushing ineffectually with his fists against Matt's chest.

Matt easily held him in place while he struggled and until he eventually gave up. Mello slumped back into his spot in bed, already worn out and sweating even more now. His hair was mussed up and sticking to his face and he was panting. Matt really needed to get out of there before he did something stupid, as was his wont.

"I'll just go get your chocolate now, then." Matt said awkwardly, but Mello grabbed his wrist as he turned to go, just as he had the day before. But Mello was coherent now, when he pulled himself up against Matt, and when he fisted his free hand in Matt's shirt, and when he murmured something like,

"Matt, you're a fucking idiot," and then kissed him, hard.

* * *

A/N: Yeah, it was kind of mean to leave it there, I guess. Sorry. Anyway, review berries are full of disease-fighting antioxidants, and would thus help keep me alive whilst I write the next chapter.


	6. Discoveries

Disclaimer: I do not own any Death Note characters.

A/N: Wow, I'm really sorry this chapter took so long. I blame it on a terrible addiction to Super Smash Bros. Brawl. I've even been playing the game in my dreams, no joke. Anyway, this chapter feels weird to me. It was hard to write, for some reason. I'm not sure if I like it, but I don't know what to do to it.

* * *

Chapter 6: In which some things are discovered.

Matt froze for a moment when Mello kissed him, but his mind caught up quickly and he returned the kiss with zeal, wrapping his arms around Mello's waist and lowering him onto his back on the bed, where Matt stretched out on top of him and proceeded to deepen the kiss. Mello's lip-gloss tasted like strawberries, sort of.

It was pretty much awesome, Matt thought. There was no one around, and therefore only one reason for Mello to be doing this. It took a surprisingly short time for Matt's mind to make the shift from trying to be straight to passionately snogging his best friend. It felt almost normal to him, actually, like it was what he was supposed to do.

But then, as suddenly as it had started, it stopped. Mello roughly pushed Matt off of him, catching him off guard so that he reeled backwards and had to let go of Mello to brace himself with his hands. Matt blinked at the blonde in confusion and a bit of worry.

"Um…what?" Matt asked.

"I need my chocolate now. Go get it." Mello ordered, sitting up and crossing his arms. Matt stared dumbly at him in disbelief, but Mello appeared to be serious. Still, he was relieved that Mello wasn't, like, taking the kiss back or anything.

He dutifully got up and hurried to the kitchen. He came back through the door, chocolate in hand, to see Mello giving him a very seductive, smoldering look. He gulped audibly and tossed the chocolate bar onto the pillow next to his roommate, and Mello gestured for him to sit back on the bed. Matt did so and felt suddenly awkward.

"So, um…that was…um…" Matt stammered. Mello rolled his eyes.

"You're doing it again! What the hell is wrong with you?" He said, exasperated.

"Um, what am I doing?" Matt asked.

"Being stupid." Mello replied, with the air of one announcing something obvious, opening his chocolate as he spoke.

"How am I being stupid?" Matt said indignantly.

"You just…are. I mean, I go to this party with you, dressed as a girl, and I drop all these hints, and I try to make you jealous…"

"What hints? I was unaware of any hinting going on."

"That's because you're an idiot. Why did you think I even agreed to your stupid plan in the first place?" Mello said, taking a bite of his chocolate and closing his eyes in pleasure at the taste.

"I thought you were just trying to help me…"

"Since when have I ever done that?"

"Well…okay, good point. But what exactly were you hinting at?" Matt asked, feeling unfocused on his words as he watched Mello lick chocolate off his lower lip. Mello sighed loudly and rolled his eyes, effectively informing Matt of how exasperating his stupidity was.

"I…like you. I guess." Mello said. It seemed to require a great deal of effort.

"Really?" Matt asked. Mello buried his face in his hands.

"Yeah, but I can't imagine why." He replied. Matt grinned and inched toward Mello, then Mello suddenly pounced on him and they picked up where they had left off, groping and snogging furiously. Mello's mouth was still full of chocolate, which Matt enjoyed even though he wasn't the biggest fan of the stuff.

Matt lost himself in the sensations and began acting on impulse. At some point, his hand drifted to the hem of Mello's pajama pants and had just barely slipped inside when Mello flinched violently and pushed him away again.

"We should stop for now, I might get you sick." Mello said, looking at his own knees in favor of Matt.

"Aw, are you shy Mello?" Matt teased. Mello actually blushed and his eyes hardened. '_Uh oh' _thought Matt.

"No, I'm just not feeling well." Mello's tone was carefully even, belying something dangerous lurking underneath.

"…Okay then." Matt said slowly. This was weird. He'd never thought of Mello as shy before. Hell, this was a man who wore shiny skin-tight leather on a daily basis, and who would go to a respectable Christmas party in drag and think nothing of it.

But Matt supposed he had been pushing things a bit fast. Mello eventually calmed down and insisted that Matt let him walk on his own legs to the living room couch, where he sat while Matt messed about in the kitchen.

"Hey, do you want to go out and do something today?" Mello asked.

"I thought you weren't feeling well." Matt said. Mello glared.

"I mean, yeah, sure. What do you want to do?" Matt amended hurriedly. Mello perked up.

"We could go see a movie or something." He said.

"You mean, like, on a date?"

"No! Well, yeah. Sort of." Mello looked embarrassed.

"Okay. What movie?" Matt said, pouring himself a cup of coffee.

"I don't know, let's just decide at the theater." Mello said, as if that was something a normal person would do. Mello always preferred everything to be spontaneous.

"Whatever." Matt said. Hopefully they wouldn't be watching the movie too closely anyway.

"Of course, I'll have to go as a girl, just in case we run into any of your coworkers." Mello said casually. Matt accidentally sprayed some coffee out of his mouth in surprise and his eyes widened.

"What? It's true! What if they saw me?" Mello said defensively at Matt's reaction. It was true that a lot of his coworkers lived nearby and likely frequented the same theater, but it was still weird that Mello was so willing.

"Mello, I'm beginning to suspect that you actually enjoy cross-dressing." He said. Mello blushed again and looked at the floor.

"You do! Oh my God!" Matt laughed. It actually wasn't that surprising when he thought about it for some reason.

"So what if I do?" Mello said, fighting back any signs of embarrassment.

"Nothing, just…why?" Matt asked, still chuckling.

"I don't want to talk about it right now. I have to go get ready for the movies." Mello said in a dignified tone as he got up and headed for his bathroom. Matt laughed harder.

About an hour later, Mello emerged from his room in a slinky little black dress that was cut just above his knees. He was holding a purse and wearing high heels again. Matt stared.

"How many dresses did you buy with my money?" He asked.

"Oh, I bought this one with my own money. I was trying on a lot of dresses for the party and I liked the way it looked on me, but it didn't seem right for the occasion." Mello answered casually. Matt opened his mouth, but found he had no response to that information. His brain had died or something. Mello laughed at the look on Matt's face.

"Come on, let's go." He said. The ride to the theater was much more pleasant than their other car rides over the past few days. Mello seemed rather relaxed now, almost even happy. At least, Matt hoped so, because _he_ certainly was.

He had been rather confused about his feelings for Mello of late, and he had blamed his embarrassing attraction on his friend's woman disguise until Mello kissed him. He wondered if Mello was feminine enough that he could date him without actually being gay. But then again, that was stupid. Mello was definitely a man.

But even if he didn't get the corner office, the whole fiasco was worth it for this to have happened. Matt was in a sappy mood. He hoped the movie they saw wouldn't be anything romantic, lest he cry and be thoroughly lame.

Luckily, they ended up seeing the new Indiana Jones movie. The theater was packed and they were a little late, so they had to sit in the third row, which was slightly disappointing because they couldn't make out, but otherwise okay.

Matt loved sitting close to the screen and having to crane his neck a little. That was the true movie experience. If you're sitting in the back, you might as well be watching TV at home; such was Matt's opinion on the matter, and Mello shared it.

They spent the first hour or so of the movie watching it intently and munching popcorn, with Matt resting his arm around Mello's shoulders. But then, two people in the first row were talking, and the voices sounded familiar.

"It is highly improbable that they would survive all of that unscathed." A monotonous voice stated.

"Shut up, L. We're in a theater."

"Perhaps I would be quiet if you would stop hogging the Milk Duds, Light."

"Both of you shut up," a high-pitched female voice finished. It was Misa. She was sitting next to L, and Light was on L's other side. Matt had a brief flare of panic before remembering that Mello was in his disguise and they were safe.

_But why are Light and Misa not sitting next to each other?_ That was weird enough, but then Light reached up and twined his fingers in L's hair as he leaned very close to whisper something in his ear.

Matt choked on popcorn, and Mello, who hadn't noticed the conversation, gave him a concerned look. Matt pointed inconspicuously toward L and Light. Light had now draped his arm around L's shoulders and Misa didn't seem to mind at all. Mello's eyes widened. What the hell was going on?

* * *

A/N: Another strange love of mine, L at the movies. Review berries are delicious even when they're sour.


	7. Stalking and Secrets

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note.

A/N: Finally, I'm back from vacation and can post this chapter! I've been nearly without internet access for weeks, I can't believe I'm still alive. Anyway, sorry yet again for the wait, and for this chapter probably being rather disjointed and stuff because I've been writing it mostly in fifteen minute increments in the middle of the night due to circumstances beyond my control.

* * *

Chapter 7: Stalking and Secrets

Matt and Mello spent the rest of the movie watching L and Light. Could it be possible that there was really something going on between them? Their body language suggested that it was, but they didn't do anything more incriminating than they had already done for the rest of the movie.

And Matt couldn't exactly go to Mr. Wammy and tell him that Light had obviously lied about his engagement just because he'd touched L's hair. After all, who wouldn't want to touch L's hair? It always looked so soft and silky and…_whoa_. He glanced at Mello as if worried that the other could hear his thoughts and get mad.

After the movie ended, Matt was careful not to let Light see them as they kept the trio in sight leaving the theater. He dragged a vaguely reluctant Mello along by the hand, as it apparently hadn't occurred to the blonde to follow the enemy when they left.

Once they were outside, Matt and Mello hid behind one of the large brick columns that decorated the front of the building. They were close enough to hear the conversation that was taking place.

"Are you sure you guys don't need a ride?" Misa asked.

"Yeah, it's only a short walk to my apartment, and we'll probably walk through the park first." Light answered. L just stood there looking at Light with his hands in his pockets. He had sort of a nervous look in his eyes.

"Alright then!" Misa exclaimed cheerfully as she turned and ran, waving to him over her shoulder. L and Light began to walk the opposite way. Matt started to follow them, only to be stopped by a strong tug on his arm from Mello.

"Where are you going?" He asked.

"We have to follow them and catch them doing something!" Matt said, yanking his arm out of Mello's grasp.

"What, we're stalking them now?" Mello said.

"Yeah! I need to find out what's going on!"

"We already know what's going on, you saw how they were acting with each other!"

"But it wasn't concrete enough! I can't just go to Wammy and tell him that I saw Light touch L's hair, I need real evidence!" Matt said hurriedly. Mello frowned.

"You're going to out them to your boss?" He said with his eyebrows furrowed.

"Hey, all's fair in love and…office rivalries." Matt said, although he was pretty sure it wasn't true. Mello stared at him for a moment and sighed. But then Matt's brain turned on and something occurred to him.

"Damn it, I can't tell on them or L will tell everyone you're not a girl!" Matt said.

"How will L know I'm not a girl?" Mello asked, slightly confused.

"Uh…he already knows." Matt replied somewhat sheepishly.

"What!"

"Well, he guessed it at the party…"

"And you didn't tell me?" Mello yelled.

"Well…I sort of forgot to tell you."

"You forgot?' He screeched.

"Yes! But he said he wouldn't tell anyone!"

"And you believed him? Clearly he's on Yagami's side!"

"Well I didn't know that yet, did I?" Matt said. Mello pulled a chocolate bar out of his purse and took a bite, which visibly calmed him down.

"How did he even guess? I thought I did it perfectly." He asked.

"I don't know, something about mannerisms…"

"I _knew_ I should have flipped my hair more!" Mello said.

"Um…whatever. I still want to follow them and see what's going on. Just out of curiosity…"

"Fine." Mello said, taking Matt's hand and heading in the direction that Light and L had gone. However, the other two had a good head start, and were already out of sight. Matt didn't know where Light lived, so he and Mello jogged down the sidewalk, looking down each alleyway they passed in case they got lucky, but it was at the nearby park that they eventually found them.

They were walking down a path in said park, feeling very discouraged and certain they had lost them by that point, when Mello elbowed Matt in the ribs and pointed through a clump of trees to a small lake. L and Light were sitting on a bench facing the water, and they hadn't noticed the others' approach.

They were holding hands. _Aha_, Matt thought. They were also talking quietly about something, so Matt and Mello stealthily moved closer and hid in the bushes to eavesdrop.

"I don't know…I'm worried about this whole thing though. You know what kind of people we work with? I've been talking to a lot of them over the past few days, and it seems like the place is abnormally homophobic."

"So is Mr. Wammy, I believe; he is very traditional. I am not sure how he will react if and when Matsuda tells him." L said. He was staring blankly across the rippling water of the lake, and Light watched him with a look of concern on his face. He looked almost human. But Matt still shuddered.

"I'm sure he'll get over it…he wouldn't disown you or anything, would he?"

"He cannot disown me, he is not my father."

"You know what I mean…you've known him since you were a kid. He wouldn't sever ties with you forever."

"You do not know what he would do." L stated tonelessly, but then suddenly his expression broke and he seemed to be blinking back tears and shaking his head slightly. Light immediately wrapped his arms around him and kissed his neck before whispering something in his ear that Matt couldn't hear.

Matt suddenly felt guilty for listening to them. He and Mello shared a glance and then carefully crept backward through the trees until they were out of sight of the others. When they were a safe distance away, Mello slapped the back of Matt's head hard.

"Ow, what the fuck?" Matt cried, shielding himself with his arms.

"I can't believe you convinced me to eavesdrop on that! They're going through a personal crisis! L was about to cry!" Mello was angry.

"How was I supposed to know Yagami and L were human beings with emotions?" Matt said. Mello looked at him for a long moment and then took a bite of chocolate.

"So you're not going to out them or anything?" He asked as they began walking down the path.

"I already told you I couldn't! Besides, it sounds like Matsuda will anyway. I wonder how he found out, he's not particularly bright." Matt said.

"Maybe he found out the same way we did." Mello said. Matt suddenly felt very tired of talking about L and Light. Their crisis was their problem, not his and Mello's. He also felt tired of his competition with Light, and was even growing rather apathetic about the corner office he had wanted so desperately only a few days before.

"This park is pretty. Wanna stay here for a while?" Matt suddenly said. Mello glanced at him because of the abrupt subject change, but didn't comment on it.

"Sure." He replied instead.

Mello took Matt's hand and they walked in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, but Matt couldn't keep from thinking about the conversation they'd overheard. As much as he hated Yagami, he liked and respected L, and he actually wondered how Wammy would react.

He hadn't even thought about what his coworkers would think of him and Mello if they knew the truth. Apparently Mello was thinking along the same lines, because he suddenly broke the silence.

"Is your workplace really that homophobic?"

"I don't know… I never really talk to anyone else. But if Light says so, then yeah, probably. He spends a lot of time socializing. He knows everyone." Matt said. Mello nodded vaguely.

The path they were walking on went in a great loop around the park, so they eventually ended up back by the lake. There was no sign of L or Light by then, so Matt and Mello sat on the vacated bench to look out across the water. They weren't sitting there for long before someone behind them said,

"Hey they took our bench!" Matt looked over his shoulder to see that Yagami had jokingly spoken the words. He and L were walking toward them casually, showing no signs of their earlier drama. L was happily licking at a strawberry ice-cream cone.

"Oh, were you sitting here? We had no way of knowing that, because we just got here, and could not have seen you sitting here before that…because…we weren't here yet." Matt stammered out. Mello shot him a 'WTF, why are you so retarded?' kind of look and then turned to address L.

"Where did you get that ice cream? Did they have chocolate?" Mello asked in a rush.

"There is an ice-cream truck over that hill. And yes, they did." L said with a little smile. Matt was extremely glad that there were no signs of him having cried.

"Wait here a second." Mello said to Matt as he stood up alarmingly fast and ran up the hill. Really, running that fast in those shoes was probably dangerous. Matt wanted to shout not to leave him alone with L and Light, but thought that might be rude.

And it was too late anyway, as Mello was out of sight and L and Light had already sat down on either side of Matt on the bench. He was very uncomfortable sitting between them after what he'd witnessed earlier, and he felt that his guilty conscience must show on his face. L and Light were both staring at him and Light was smirking.

"So Matt, how's it going with Mello?" Light said in his fake-friendly voice, which never failed to annoy Matt.

"Fine. How's it going with you and L?" Matt said without thinking. '_Fuck!'_ Matt thought when his words caught up to him. He didn't mean to tell them he knew! He had been planning to say Misa instead of L. Light's eyes widened and L somehow managed to choke on ice cream.

"Um, what do you mean?" Light said, apparently trying to play dumb. But Matt decided there was no point in pretending he didn't know, as he wouldn't even have to mention the stalking.

"I know you're together, Mello and I were sitting behind you at the movies."

"So? I was there with Misa!"

"You weren't even sitting with her! You had your arm around L!" Matt said accusingly.

"Yeah, in a friendly way." Light said obstinately.

"Light, stop it. There is no point in lying." L broke in, sighing. He and Light looked at each other for a few very long moments, apparently having an entire conversation with their eyes. Again, it made Matt very uncomfortable to be sitting between them when they were acting so…_couple_-y, but luckily Mello returned right then.

"I'm back! What's going on?" Mello said, noticing the serious looks on everyone's faces. He was licking at a chocolate ice cream cone in what Matt thought was an extremely sexy way. He was momentarily distracted from L and Light, but was quickly pulled back in when Light said,

"So I suppose you're going to tell Wammy about this, aren't you?"

"No!" Matt replied indignantly. Light looked surprised, but L didn't. Matt almost felt guilty that his only reason was the threat of L telling on him.

"Why not? I know you've been trying to show me up so you can get the office." Light said.

"Oh, like you haven't been doing the same thing!" Matt said.

"Exactly! I would have told Wammy right away if I found out that you were gay." Light replied.

"Well, maybe I'm just a better person than you." Matt said in a very dignified voice. Mello failed to stifle an incredulous laugh.

"Shut up, Mello." He said, annoyed.

"I didn't say anything." Mello replied innocently.

"You shouldn't talk to your girlfriend that way anyway." Said Light. L nodded in agreement.

"We have a… special dynamic, not that it's any of your business, Yagami." Matt said. Mello snorted, and Matt privately marveled at his ability to make it sound ladylike even though it seemed rather spontaneous. L was smirking to himself for a moment, but then it dropped off his face and he abruptly spoke up.

"It does not matter if you tell Mr. Wammy. Matsuda probably already has by now." He said. Matt tried his best to look surprised at the mention of Matsuda.

"How does Matsuda know?" Mello asked.

"He, um, walked in on something he shouldn't have…" Light answered. If Matt didn't know any better he would have sworn L was blushing behind his ice cream.

"You mean, at work?" Matt asked, looking between the two of them.

"At the party, in the stairwell, after you left." Light said simply. Matt nodded in understanding. L coughed. And then the four of them stood there in an awkward silence for an indefinite amount of time.

"So, uh…we'd better get going. We need to mentally prepare for tomorrow's inevitable confrontation." Light said, taking L by the hand and bowing slightly to Matt and Mello.

"Yeah, I'll see you at work tomorrow." Matt said as they left. Mello took a seat on the bench next to Matt.

"Was it just me, or was Yagami being weirdly person-like today?" Matt asked.

"Maybe it's part of an evil plot." Mello said.

"I don't know, I've seen many an evil plot from him and this seemed different."

"Well, I guess we'll find out soon."

"Yeah." Matt said.

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A/N: So...thoughts? I feel like this chapter may have been weird somehow, but I'm not sure why.


	8. Argument and Understanding

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note.

A/N: Dude, this chapter turned out much longer than I had anticipated. So...enjoy, I hope it doesn't suck. Also, thank you everyone who has reviewed thus far!

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Chapter Eight: Arguments and Understanding

The next day, Matt went to work more confused than ever. He didn't want to care about L and Light's situation, but he found that it hit a little too close to home for him. He tried to imagine their coworkers' reactions to the news of their relationship, but, having never really been homophobic himself, he had trouble picturing any hostile reaction. It just seemed to him that such a prejudice was so completely and obviously irrational that no normal person could ever have it, and so he was confused about L and Light's fears. But then, he didn't know his coworkers as well as Light did.

However, this wasn't the thing he was most confused about. When he and Mello had gotten back to their apartment the previous afternoon, Matt had once again been hoping for some action, and once again, Mello had stopped him just as things were heating up. And then, that night, Mello had only wanted to _cuddle_. Well, at least he was letting Matt sleep in his bed with him.

Matt had admittedly spent very little time thinking about the dynamics of gay relationships prior to his own with Mello, but if he had, he would have imagined less cuddling and more sexing going on. Oh well. It had really only been a day since they started going out, even if it seemed like so much longer to Matt.

Matt reached the door to his office building and made his way to his stupid little cubicle. Nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary in the place, but it was still early. Most of the employees were just getting there, and L and Light hadn't even come in yet. Matt sat in his chair and jiggled the mouse to stop the screensaver on his computer.

Out of habit, he checked his email before starting on his work. Everyone did that, as they often received mail from Wammy giving them updates about their latest projects and whatnot. However, it was not normal to be getting messages from Matsuda, so Matt's eyebrows shot up when he saw that he had. When he opened it, he saw that it had been sent to everyone in the building, with the notable exceptions of L and Light. It went something like:

"Omg you guyz- L and light Yagami are FAGs! I saw them doing stuf together on the stairs! It was sooo discusting! I wunder if Misa knoes?"

Matt took a moment to flinch at Matsuda's spelling before he flinched at the sentiment contained in the short missive. He glanced around the office to see how people were reacting to it, and also to check whether its subjects had arrived yet. They hadn't, but Matt observed several things that he assumed were caused by Matsuda's testimony.

Takada gasped and put a hand over her mouth, eyes wide. Aizawa had a look of pure disgust on his face as his eyes scanned his monitor. So did Mogi and Aiber. Especially Aiber. This did not bode well. Matt resisted the urge to roll his eyes as a few people left their seats to go and gossip with their friends, and soon the room was filled with hushed whispers that took on a rather hostile tone. Nobody came to talk to Matt, as he had always avoided befriending these people, all of whom he privately held in very low esteem.

He made an effort to ignore them and get to work, but when the whispers suddenly ceased, he found himself holding his breath and looking toward the door. L and Light had arrived. Together.

Matt noticed that many of his coworkers were nearly bursting with the need to comment on this, but they settled for exchanging knowing looks. L calmly made his way to his office and shut the door behind him, his face betraying no emotion as he walked. Light seemed to be having a harder time ignoring the stares, and he didn't have an office to retreat into, only a cubicle.

Matt saw him attempt a tentative smile at Takada, with whom he'd always been friendly, but she immediately looked away as if she hadn't seen him. Light was very intelligent, especially in social situations. He seemed to be able to read people very well, and he certainly already knew that Matsuda had told everyone, and that they had not taken it well.

He sat at his desk, which was in the cubicle across the little aisle from Matt's, so they could easily see each other when they turned around. Light was holding his head lower than usual, almost as if to hide.

He looked miserable. Matt felt bad for him, but he was still the enemy in the back of Matt's mind, and some sick, twisted part of him was reveling in the enemy's defeat. He sighed when he realized this and reminded himself that he was supposed to be the better person here.

The day continued in this fashion, and it felt like there was tension building in the room, as nobody had yet confronted Light or L about the information they had received. Matt thought this was kind of ridiculous. What if Matsuda had been lying? That question apparently didn't occur to anyone, perhaps because of the way L and Light had arrived at the same time.

It wasn't until a few hours later that the tension broke. Light had printed something, and therefore had to walk across the room to the printer to get it. Matt found himself watching warily as no fewer than three people blatantly tried to trip the man as he passed them. Light successfully pretended nothing was out of the ordinary, and after he picked up his rather large stack of papers, he was very careful to look out for tricks on his way back.

However, when Aiber decided to walk by in the opposite direction and 'accidentally' slam his shoulder into Light's smaller frame, it was more difficult to avoid. He ended up sprawled on the floor, his papers raining down around him, scattering everywhere. Most of the office burst out laughing.

"Oops, sorry!" Aiber said, smirking and not at all apologetic. The look on his face actually reminded Matt of the evil Yagami he used to know, but that enemy bore no resemblance to the man who was currently on the floor. Still, Light wasn't one to take this sort of treatment lying down, so to speak.

"What the fuck is your problem?" He said angrily as he stood, ignoring the fallen papers to avoid the indignity of crawling around to pick them up.

"You! Matsuda told us what you are!"

"What do you mean?"

"He saw you and L doing stuff on the stairs!" Aiber said accusingly, pointing a finger. The sentence sounded incredibly immature coming from Aiber. Matt found the effect somewhat comical, but didn't laugh. Light did though, and Aiber looked puzzled.

"What stuff?" Light asked, still half-smiling.

"Gay stuff." Aiber spat out quickly, as if not wanting the words to contaminate him by being in his mouth for too long.

"Oh. What exactly did he see us do?" Light asked, tilting his head to the side.

"I didn't ask him for specifics!" Aiber was flustered.

"But you wanted to, didn't you?" Light teased. Aiber looked horrified.

"No!"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes!"

"Because I could tell you what we were doing, if you really-" Light said.

"No!" Aiber interrupted. There was a surge of reluctant laughter from the onlookers.

"I mean, it hasn't escaped my notice that you've taken the first chance you got to touch me under the pretense of bullying-" Light continued, seeming to have gained control of the situation.

"Shut up!" Aiber shouted. A lot of the people who had previously been laughing at Light's expense had now turned on Aiber, who was panicky where Light was calm and collected. Light's smooth talking and social skills were something Matt had always lacked and thus hated, but he was rather impressed by this point.

Especially when Aiber actually fled the room in embarrassment and everyone laughed. Only then did Light actually bend down to pick up his papers, and Mikami stepped out of his own cubicle to help. It was quite the abrupt change in attitude, but Matt sort of suspected that Mikami was secretly in love with Light, so it wasn't that weird.

Later on, Mr. Wammy arrived and went straight into L's office without a word to anyone else. He looked angrier than Matt had ever seen him. He looked even angrier when he came out and stomped over to his own office, slamming the door behind him. After another twenty minutes, Wammy came back out and summoned Matt to speak with him. Matt wondered if L had told him about Mello's real gender, but stopped wondering when Wammy smiled jovially at him once they were in his office.

"So, Matt. I told you at the party that I would have a decision about the corner office by this week. Honestly, I was leaning more towards Light, but it seems that he doesn't really have the right attitude. So, I've chosen you, and I've just filed the necessary paperwork, so it's all taken care of. Congratulations!" Wammy said, clapping a hand on Matt's shoulder as he finished.

Matt's heart leapt and then plummeted. This was all wrong. This wasn't the triumph he'd been hoping for. In fact, he would have lost if Light hadn't been caught. It didn't take a person of Matt's intelligence to know what Wammy meant by the _right attitude_. Matt couldn't let this go.

"Thank you, Mr. Wammy. But what exactly is wrong with Light's attitude?" He asked innocently. Wammy faltered a bit, apparently assuming Matt would know what he meant and agree with him.

"He just doesn't have the sort of values that I like to encourage." He replied. Matt felt confrontational.

"You mean because he's gay?" Matt queried, tilting his head to the side. Mr. Wammy's face turned red.

"Don't talk about it like that! It's not normal!" He sputtered.

"You do realize, of course, that I'm gay too, right? But thanks for the office." Matt said calmly, but couldn't stop the slight smirk that surfaced on his face. Wammy's eyes widened, and he opened his mouth as if to say something, but apparently had no response, so Matt casually left the office. He wondered then if Wammy would send a message to everyone like Matsuda had or if he would avoid all mention of it.

He assumed it would be the latter. Instead of making his way to his cubicle, he felt compelled to check on L in his office. He found L staring morosely at a piece of strawberry shortcake. He was poking it with a fork, but set it down as if he couldn't bring himself to eat it. That was not a good sign.

"Are you okay?" Matt asked. L looked up. His eyes were bloodshot. He shook his head slowly, and Matt somehow thought of Mello. He walked around L's desk and sat next to him on the edge of his chair, then pulled him into his arms. L tensed up and then relaxed, but didn't say anything.

He held L without thinking for about twenty seconds, and then he felt uncomfortable. Why on earth had he done this? This was weird. He and L were sort of friends, but they definitely weren't close enough for this to be normal.

This was all Mello's fault with his stupid cuddling. It had become second nature to Matt already! He was just about to let go of L and pretend he hadn't hugged him in the first place, but then the door opened and Light came in. He saw them and frowned.

"What the hell are you doing?" He said specifically to Matt.

"I'm…not sure. Trying to help, I guess." Matt answered. Light stared at him for a moment, but then apparently accepted his answer.

"What did Wammy want?" Light asked.

"To give me the corner office." Matt replied. Light made a disgusted noise.

"Oh, of course. Congratulations." He said bitterly.

"Yeah, but I'm not sure if he'll let me keep it now that I've told him I'm gay." Matt said. Both L and Light looked at him in surprise.

"You're gay?" Light asked disbelievingly.

"Yeah." Matt said.

"But what about Mello?" He asked.

"Mello is a man." L answered before Matt could, then he asked, "But why did you tell Mr. Wammy?"

"It just…wouldn't have been right to get the office that way." Matt said.

"Mello's not a man, I've met her!" Light exclaimed, still stuck on that point.

"He is a very pretty man." L stated, nodding his head. Light gave him an incredulous look.

"Yeah, he dressed up as a woman for the party because I was trying to win over Mr. Wammy." Matt confirmed. Light still looked unconvinced.

"But then why was he wearing a dress at the park?"

"In case we saw someone from work." Matt answered. Light sighed, but then it looked like something had occurred to him.

"Wait…you knew about this and didn't tell me?" He asked L accusingly. L only shrugged.

"I found your theories about Mello amusing, Light."

"What theories?" Matt asked curiously.

"Never mind." Light said to him, glaring at L.

"At first he thought Mello was a relative of yours, then he decided Mello was a prostitute, and then he was thoroughly convinced that Mello was a robot that you had created with your immense technical savvy, as she was much too attractive to be dating you if she were real." L said monotonously, ignoring Light's glare.

"Hey!" Matt exclaimed. Light shrugged quasi-apologetically.

"What? You're a socially awkward geek and you know it."

"Whatever, you know I'm freaking hot." Matt said. Light snorted and L took a bite of cake, apparently having cheered up.

"I want to get out of here." L suddenly said after he swallowed the bite.

"Okay, where do you want to go?" Light asked.

"Let's go eat lunch." L replied. Light nodded. Matt turned to go back to his cubicle, but surprisingly Light called him back.

"Matt, why don't you come with us?"

"Oh…I dunno…" Matt said, not certain that he actually wanted to spend any of his free time with Light. He still wasn't fond of the guy. It was only a day ago that he was thinking of him as pure evil incarnate. And anyway, he really, _really_ did not want to sit through a meal as the third wheel with two people who he actually didn't know that well at all.

"Come on, you can bring Mello."

"Oh, you just want to see Mello out of costume!" Matt laughed. Light smiled, and it didn't look evil.

"Maybe."

"Alright then, if he's home." Matt wasn't actually sure if he would be, though. He didn't know exactly what Mello did for a living, as he never seemed to want to talk about it, but Matt got the impression that it had something to do with the police. Still, Mello was home most of the time, telecommuting with his laptop and receiving very important-sounding phone calls from men with the sort of gruff, authoritative voices that made Matt think of retired soldiers.

L drove them to Matt's apartment, where Light and L waited in the car while Matt went up to get Mello. He found the blonde lying on his stomach on the couch with his laptop in front of him. He was dressed in his shiny leather and lazily scrolling through a very long, dry list of crime statistics. Matt took a moment to check out Mello's ass before speaking, which Mello noticed and rolled his eyes. Well, what did he expect, wearing skin-tight leather and putting it on display like that?

"Hey, want to go to lunch with L and Light? Light knows you're a dude now, so you don't have to dress up." Matt said, draping an arm around Mello's waist as he spoke.

"You told him?" Mello asked. Matt shrugged.

"Yeah, but I don't think he really believed me. Apparently he thinks I've built you to be my sex robot because you're too hot to be a human being."

"He probably won't be the last person to make that mistake." Mello said, nodding sagely. "But I suppose it wouldn't be right to leave him with that misconception." He started to get up but then apparently felt the need to stretch cat-like on the couch, drawing Matt's eyes straight back to his ass again.

"Would you stop that?" Mello asked with much exasperation.

"I can't." Matt answered honestly. Mello sighed.

"Pathetic." He muttered.

"Whatever, Miss Transvestite-sex-robot." Matt replied. Mello chuckled. They made their way down to the car, where L and Light had obviously gotten bored in Matt's absence, as both of them had mussed-up hair and flushed faces upon their arrival.

He found it vaguely disturbing to get in the car with them after that. Honestly, did they have no self-control at all or did they just have a fetish for doing things in public places? But he got over it. Light looked shocked by Mello's choice of attire and so did L, who Matt realized had also never seen him in it before. Matt placed a very possessive arm around Mello's shoulders when they looked Mello up and down. Mello smirked at him.

L drove them to a restaurant that Matt had never been to before, and when they got inside, both L and Mello ordered only desserts. Light and Matt both rolled their eyes simultaneously and shared a look. Of course, having things in common with his sworn enemy did not sit well with Matt.His sense of rivalry returned and he suddenly wondered if he would still get the office now.

Wammy said he'd done all the paperwork, whatever that was. He probably wouldn't go to all the trouble of undoing it at this point, considering that Matt and Light were the only two candidates for the office in the first place, and Matt was probably the lesser of two evils because he hadn't corrupted L. Perhaps Matt had already won, but he wasn't sure.

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A/N: **Review.** The author has spoken.


	9. Matt's Musings and a Surprise

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note.

A/N: Yeah...here's a chapter.

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Chapter 9: In Which Matt Thinks About Sex a Lot.

Matt felt determined and uncharacteristically assertive as he strolled into work the next morning. He was frustrated, having once again gotten nowhere with Mello the night before, and he was not in the mood to be pushed around by anyone. He had slipped his personal laptop into the bag that was slung over his shoulder, and instead of going to his cubicle, he walked straight into the office that had obviously always been his birthright.

As acts of rebellion go, it wasn't terribly revolutionary, considering that Mr. Wammy had yet to take the office back. Matt assumed he would, though, as soon as he came to terms with the facts. But Matt refused to let that faze him as he placed his laptop at _his_ new desk and sat in _his_ new chair and gazed about the room with a regal air. Oh yes, he was the king of his tiny castle.

But actually, it wasn't that tiny. The room was a lot bigger than it needed to be, and Matt remembered that the guy who'd had it before had actually put a couch and a giant T.V. set on the other side of the desk. Perhaps that was the reason he'd been fired.

There had also been a hideous fake plant in the corner, and whenever Matt had been forced to have a meeting with the guy, he'd surreptitiously snipped off another couple of leaves from it until it ultimately became a hideous plastic stem. There was still a pile of fake leaves in the bottom drawer of the desk in his cubicle. Matt had really hated the guy, almost as much as Yagami.

He got to work on his latest program, occasionally glancing out the windows by the door, through which he could see the rest of his coworkers in their cubicles.

Some of them kept shooting him glares, which Matt took to mean that either Wammy had told everyone or that they were just jealous of his office. It was probably the latter. Wammy didn't seem the gossiping type.

Still, Matt looked around at everyone, trying to assess the general mood of the populous. His eyes ended up resting on Yagami. The man appeared to be in much higher spirits than the day before, which was good, Matt supposed. There were still plenty of people who seemed to be glancing at Light more than usual, most of them throwing him dirty looks, but he seemed to have risen above it.

In fact, as Matt watched, Light got up and made his rounds like he always had, chatting with Takada and Mikami before skipping over Aiber and moving on to Wedy. Of course, not even Light Yagami possessed the social skills to convince a building full of hostile homophobes to accept him overnight.

Or did he? It seemed like over half of the programmers were being perfectly friendly to him, which was not as many as Matt would have hoped, but still a tremendous improvement over the previous day. But of course, there were a few people who might never be convinced; Aiber and Matsuda were looking very petulant as Light pointedly ignored them, and Mr. Wammy was nowhere to be seen.

Matt realized that he had gotten far too distracted from his work, and spent the next few minutes typing furiously before his thoughts drifted to Mello. Some sex-robot he was turning out to be; more like a cuddle-robot. He told himself that he didn't want to pressure the blonde into anything before he was ready, but the truth was, he really did.

He would just have to be sneaky enough that Mello wouldn't notice the pressure. He knew for a fact that Mello wasn't a virgin, so that could hardly be the explanation. He also knew that his roommate was not at all sentimental about sex. He'd even told Matt about a one-night stand he'd had with a woman named Halle, whom he worked with.

So what on earth was his problem with Matt? Maybe he was secretly straight. Except that made no sense whatsoever. He'd spent days cross-dressing in order to get a guy to like him. This was hardly straight-man behavior.

Matt's mind felt hazy, and he had the distinct impression that he was thinking stupid things. Fortunately, it was about lunchtime. His thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door of _his_ office. The door opened without waiting for his response, and for a moment, he was afraid it would be Wammy kicking him out. But it wasn't, and he sighed in relief.

"Hey Matt, want to go to lunch with us again today?" Light Yagami asked from the doorway of Matt's office. L was standing behind him.

"Uh, I don't think Mello can make it today…" Matt said, knowing that Mello had actually gone in to work that day.

"That's okay, you can come without him." Light's voice had dropped a little in volume on the pronoun to avoid outing Matt to everyone outside the door, which Matt appreciated.

"Well, I would really prefer not to be the third wheel here…" Matt said uneasily. He'd had more fun than he'd expected when he had lunch with them the day before, but he doubted it would have been that way without Mello.

"Oh, you won't be, Misa's going to meet us there." Light replied, as if that was at all reassuring.

"Oh. Uh, does she know about...you?" Matt made a vague gesture between L and Light.

"Yes, of course." Light laughed.

"…Alright then." Matt agreed. He didn't want to be rude, and anyway, he was hungry. And this should be interesting. The last time he'd spoken to Misa, he'd been under the impression that she was Light's fiancé, which had not endeared her to him any more than her squeaky high-pitched voice and bubbly personality had. But still, he was interested in knowing what had convinced her to act as Light's girlfriend for so long.

The car ride was a little bit awkward for Matt. Well, more than a little bit. It was probably the most uncomfortable car ride of his life. He was driving, and L and Light had both decided to sit in the back. It didn't take long for it to become clear why they had done this.

Matt found himself trying very hard to ignore the very distracting sounds that were emanating from behind him, and whenever his eyes wandered up to check the rearview mirror, he looked sharply back at the road and stared straight ahead for a while.

Honestly, what was their problem? Did they not know how rude it was to make out when they were in a car with another person? Particularly after Matt had just expressed his concerns about being the third wheel. Were they doing this on purpose? Matt resisted the urge to comment, mostly because he was afraid that would make it even more awkward. Fortunately, they weren't going too far away.

They met Misa at the restaurant, where she greeted all three of them with squeals and enthusiastic hugs, even though she had only met Matt once. The first thing she said was,

"So Matt, Light tells me you're gay! That's so awesome!" She jumped up and down a bit. Matt was rather alarmed and glanced at Light to communicate the feeling. Light shrugged.

"She's my hag." He explained. Matt nodded to simulate understanding.

"Misa, calm down, you are frightening him." L finally said. She visibly made an attempt to do so and they sat down to eat.

"So Light, it seems like things are going better with everyone at work today." Matt said a few minutes later as a way of starting a conversation. Light sighed.

"Yeah, I spent half the night on the phone trying to talk some sense into everyone. Except Aiber, he's a douche." Light said. Matt laughed reluctantly, a bit surprised at Light's language, as the man had always been so annoyingly polite as long as he'd known him.

"And Matsuda?" Matt wondered aloud.

"Oh, I tried with Matsuda. He's the boss's nephew, you know. But…it didn't take."

"Well, he did seem pretty much beyond help in his email."

"What email?"

"The one he sent to everyone to tell them about you and L. You didn't hear about that?" Matt said. Light's brow furrowed and he shook his head.

"I assumed he had just told someone about it and it got around. You know how gossip travels in our office…" Light said. Matt nodded, remembering the way his coworkers had swarmed together after the email the day before.

"But an email to everyone sounds like purposeful sabotage…" Light continued, giving Matt a suspicious look.

"What are you insinuating?"

"It just looks a little funny that this happened yesterday, right when Wammy was about to make his decision, and there you were today, sitting in the office."

"What? Matsuda doesn't even like me! And if you'd read the email, you'd know that he's not smart enough to have done that on purpose!"

"What did it say, Matt?" L asked before biting into a pastry of some sort. He didn't look like he cared that much, but Matt paraphrased it for them anyway, and Light seemed to calm down and accept Matt's denial and drop his accusation. However, the email also made Misa nearly explode with excitement. She squealed her loudest squeal yet, causing the three men to look at her with concern, and effectively lightening the tone.

"Oooh, you guys were doing stuff on the stairs? What were you doing? Misa wants details! Did you have sex? Did you-" She stopped when Light held up a hand.

"None of your business." Light said. Matt was both relieved and disappointed that he wouldn't hear about it. Well, he had a right to be curious, didn't he?

"What? What's the point of being friends with you if I don't get to hear about your man-sex? Hmmm?" She continued, poking Light's shoulder over and over with her index finger. Light shook his head, looking highly annoyed, but he and L were not on the same page.

"Light gave me a blowjob." L stated tonelessly.

"L!" Light exclaimed in a very scandalized and betrayed tone while Misa giggled and clapped her hands a few times.

"Yes, Light?" L said as if he had no idea why Light was mad. Matt snorted and Light gave up, shaking his head.

After lunch they returned to work, and Matt sat at his desk, waiting for his program to compile. He glanced every once in a while at the door to the stairwell. Thanks to L's blunt statement of the facts and twenty minutes of hearing the annoying but strangely arousing sounds they saw fit to make in his car, he found himself unable to stop imagining the sight Matsuda must have stumbled across that fateful night.

Had they been on the actual stairs or on the landing? Had L been standing up, leaning against the wall with his head thrown back in pleasure while Light knelt on the floor in front of him? Were Light's hands gripping L's hips or running up and down his thighs?

_Gah!_ Stupid Mello! Matt had become completely preoccupied with sex and it was entirely his fault! Matt had admittedly not had sex in a very long time, and was in fact used to very long dry spells, but he had never been so desperate to get into someone's pants before.

Of course, he used to only date women. And they had never frustrated him the way Mello did. Perhaps because he expected it from them, but not from his cross-dressing, leather-wearing, tantrum-throwing blonde. Or perhaps he just wasn't especially attracted to them in the first place.

Matt was in the middle of pondering this when there was a knock on the door, and Matt was again worried that it would be Mr. Wammy kicking him out. It wasn't. When the door opened, it was Mello that strode in.

He was wearing a dress, and this one was lacy and white. Nice, innocent, virginal white. Matt shook his head to clear it of these thoughts so he wouldn't accidentally say them out loud and get punched in the face.

"Why are you in a dress?" Matt asked, and he was proud that only a hint of his previous annoyance was betrayed by his tone.

"I wasn't sure if your coworkers knew about me yet." Mello said calmly, locking the door behind him.

"Well, they don't, but I don't really care what they think." Matt replied.

"I'll keep that in mind." Mello said as he went around and methodically shut the blinds on all the windows, giving them complete privacy.

"Uh…what are you closing the blinds for?" Matt asked in confusion, looking around at the closed blinds behind him. Then he heard a rustling of fabric and turned back to Mello, just in time to see a lacy white dress fall to the floor.

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A/N: Augh! I know. Evil, evil cliffhanger. Probably my worst ever. I'm sorry. Still, you should probably review. It makes me happy. You want me to be happy, don't you?


	10. Matt Uses His Office

Disclaimer: Death Note does not belong to me. Seriously.

Warning: Gay sex. For pretty much the whole chapter. But some important stuff happens too. Well, when I say 'important', what I mean is that it's semi-relevant to the plot of this story, but probably rather insignificant in the cosmic sense. You don't really have to read it.

A/N: This is my first feeble attempt at a sex scene. It's not terribly explicit, because I can't write details without feeling ridiculous, even if it would be better that way.

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Chapter 10: The Corner Office and its Various Uses

Matt's eyes came to rest first upon the fallen white dress in alarm and bewilderment. His jaw dropped as his mind processed the situation. Then his gaze traveled lingeringly upward, over smooth, slim calves, and thighs with tense muscles to counter the tilt of the high heels. Matt concluded that Mello had the Best Legs Ever.

There was a pinkish flush to Mello's skin, as if he was blushing with his whole body, which he probably was. And Matt blushed too, when his stare reached a certain place. How had he not noticed before that Mello had neglected to wear anything at all under his dress? Well, he was definitely noticing now. When his eyes finally reached Mello's face, he saw that the blonde was blushing intensely and biting his bottom lip under Matt's inspection.

Mello had an awful lot of bravado, but he wasn't always as confident as he acted. It looked like he wasn't sure what to do now that the dramatic gesture was over. When Matt met his eyes, he stepped carefully out of the fabric that had pooled around his stilettos, and walked tentatively towards him, hips swaying slightly because of the shoes. Matt automatically stood up and walked around the desk to meet him halfway.

"Uh…M-Mello? What-" Matt began to stammer, but was cut off when the naked blonde threw his arms around his neck and pulled him into an almost desperate kiss. Matt instinctively slid his arms around Mello's waist, pulling the other man's body flush against his own. But Matt was too confused to remain absorbed in the kiss for long; he had to know what had prompted Mello's behavior. He broke away, breathing hard, and looked at his friend.

"Seriously…what are you doing?" Matt asked. Mello raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms, looking absurdly dignified for a naked man in stilettos.

"I thought you wanted to have sex, you've been whining about it enough." Mello pouted.

"Oh, I do, believe me…it's just, why here? Why now?"

"I wanted our first time to be in this office." Mello said simply. Matt felt a bizarre surge of affection well up in him.

"Aw…that's so sweet!" He said, pulling Mello into a tight embrace. Mello laughed and seemed vaguely relieved, and then resumed their kiss. But a thought occurred to Matt, and he broke away again.

"What if Yagami had gotten the office?" Matt asked.

"Then I would have bribed the security guard to let us in here at night and we would have done it on Yagami's desk as payback." Mello replied, nodding, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Any signs of anxiety he had been showing before had vanished, as if Matt had affirmed him by hugging him, which was just too cute for Matt to bear.

"Oh. Okay." Matt said as he abruptly pulled Mello against him once more. Their kiss deepened as they haphazardly made their way over to Matt's desk, Mello almost tripping on his shoes several times in the process. Matt pressed Mello against the edge of the desk and ran his hand down the smooth, pale skin of Mello's back, his fingertips tracing along the delicate ridge of his spine. He then lifted Mello onto the desktop, with one hand around his waist and the other gripping the back of his upper thigh.

When Matt noticed that his computer was still sitting on the desk behind Mello, he reached around to fumble it shut and set it down on the floor as quickly as he could, prompting a giggle from Mello. Matt mock-scowled as soon as they made eye contact again.

Mello smirked and responded by grabbing the hem of Matt's striped shirt and deftly pulling it over his head, throwing it on the floor. He looked Matt up and down for a second before grabbing him by the biceps and pulling him close, and they each shivered at the feel of bare skin against their own.

Matt gently pushed Mello onto his back and climbed on top of him, pinning his wrists above his head and trailing sloppy kisses down his neck, stopping once to suck on a patch of skin right above the blonde's collarbone. Mello let out a quiet moan as Matt slid himself lower and swirled his tongue around a perky pink nipple.

And then the weirdness began. Mello suddenly started talking.

"So, how has your day been? Anything good happen? I had to go to the station to work on a case and it was really annoying and-" Mello said in a rush, but he stopped when Matt looked up at him in confusion.

"Uh…what?" Matt said.

"…Um…sorry, I have this nervous babbling thing that I sometimes accidentally do during foreplay…and sex …just ignore it…"

"O-okay, then." Matt said worriedly, but didn't return to what he'd been doing. Mello sighed and freed his hands from Matt's grasp so he could unbutton Matt's jeans and slide them down the programmer's slim hips. He was talking the whole time, but it didn't take long for Matt to decide he didn't mind so much.

He had to stand up to pull his pants and boxers all the way off, and from his new vantage point, he could see Mello laid out in front of him in all his flushed and naked glory, and he shivered. Instead of climbing back on the desk, he impulsively brought his head straight down over a very private area of Mello. He'd never given a blowjob before, obviously, but he thought it couldn't be too difficult.

And judging by the way Mello moaned, he was doing okay. Even if he was getting kind of dizzy. Mello continued to talk, but it swiftly became less coherent and punctuated more and more frequently by little gasps. Matt found it extremely hot. He liked Mello's voice, and it felt like he had a constant reminder of whom he was with.

"-So then I…gave my report…and stupid…albino…idiot…had to…point out all…the flaws in it…" Mello was breathlessly saying. Matt had no idea what the hell Mello was talking about, because the blonde never, ever talked about his job to Matt, but he found himself listening intently. He was interested to hear more about Mello's life. But then, Mello abruptly squeezed his eyes shut fell silent for a few moments.

"Matt, I'm about to-" He began to exclaim but was unable to finish, and then he did. Matt choked and sputtered, getting a good amount of the sticky substance on his face, and Mello actually had the audacity to laugh at him from his position on the desk.

"Shut up!" Matt said as he reached for a tissue to wipe his face with.

"Ha ha, sorry… so, um…there are condoms and lube in my purse." Mello said, pointing to a little silver bag on the floor next to his dress. And just like that, Matt forgave him. He went over and got the purse, pulling out the items Mello had mentioned as he returned, and then he hesitated.

"Mello, I have no idea what I'm doing." He admitted. Mello gave him a sympathetic look.

"Here, I'll explain." Mello said. And he did, using many rather obscene hand gestures that made Matt laugh. And about five minutes later, Matt was thrusting into Mello with abandon on the desktop, and Mello didn't have enough breath to continue his inane commentary.

Matt marveled at how amazing Mello felt, with the blonde's legs wrapped around him and his glistening sweaty skin sliding on the wooden desk. It felt like every nerve in his body had become extra-sensitive, and the slightest touch from Mello could send a jolt of pleasure up his spine.

He leaned forward to clumsily kiss Mello's neck again, and he heard a long, low moan, but it sounded oddly distant, and he wondered why he couldn't feel the vibration of it in Mello's throat. He looked up to see Mello staring at the wall in confusion.

"Did you hear that?" Mello asked, rather loudly over the sound of Matt's harsh breathing.

"I thought it was you." Matt said, panting, and he ceased his motions while still inside Mello. Now he was also confused, and it was difficult to think at all when most of his blood was not in his brain.

"That doesn't even sound like me, that sounds like…" The moan sounded again, and they both looked back at the wall. The wall was behind the desk and separated this office from the one next to it. And in the one next to it was…

"L." Matt and Mello said simultaneously, looking at each other with wide eyes. They fell silent and Matt continued to hold still, shocked immobile even though Mello was squirming and trying to buck up against him.

Meanwhile, they both listened, and they heard another moan. It went straight to Matt's groin, and Mello could probably feel it, given their position. Then there was a voice, and after months of gritting his teeth whenever he heard Light Yagami's polite, friendly-sounding lilt, Matt recognized it immediately.

"L…oh, fuck…L, I…uh…God!" Yagami was shouting, sounding like he was trying and failing to control his volume. Matt and Mello looked at each other with identical expressions of disbelief, which became pure shock when L spoke up.

"Light, I believe…Matt and Mello…have stopped." He said, sounding only a little bit less dispassionate than usual. Matt could only wonder what was going on during the pauses in L's speech. Not that he cared, of course.

"Aw, that's too bad." Light said breathlessly, but purposefully loud, as if he wanted them to hear. Matt's jaw dropped. Mello actually laughed, but it sounded strained, perhaps because Matt was presently stopped about halfway inside him.

"Mello, they've been listening to us!" Matt whispered. His legs were burning with the effort of holding still and he had begun to tremble a bit as he paid attention to the others' voices.

"Yeah, no kidding. Now start moving again!" Mello replied, resuming his fidgeting and grabbing Matt's hips to pull him closer. Matt resisted, as he was rather freaked out by the whole L and Light situation.

"That doesn't bother you?" Matt whispered again, with only his heroic strength of will keeping him from obeying Mello immediately.

"Not as much as you're bothering me by not moving. Hurry up and get back to fucking me already!" Mello yelled, not bothering to keep his voice low. In fact, it was almost as if he was trying to put on a show for the couple in the next room, as it wasn't the sort of thing Mello would normally say. Matt heard Light laugh through the wall.

He couldn't believe this was happening, that he was doing this while his arch-nemesis was only ten feet away behind an apparently paper-thin wall, but his self-control failed him when Mello let out a high-pitched whine, and he started up again. He could hear the vocal stylings of L and Light as they did the same. He wondered what sort of position they were in, and who was on top.

Then he shook his head. He should not be enjoying this weird, twisted experience. Well, except for the Mello part. That was normal and good. Matt was a healthy, normal, monogamous person. Yep. He did not get off on the sound of another couple having sex, not at all.

He listened as L let out a gasp and then a long, drawn-out groan. _Oh, who am I kidding?_ He thought, and he came hard, collapsing on Mello with a spasm that rocked through his whole body, and seeing stars behind his eyes.

* * *

A/N: Well, if it sucked, tell me why in a review so I can fix it or something. And if for some reason you think it didn't suck, I would feel much better if you told me so. Anyway, this story is almost over. There are probably only one or two chapters left.


	11. Wammy's Final Decision

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note.

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Chapter 11: Wammy Finally Makes an Appearance and a Decision

Matt and Mello were still lying on the desk ten minutes later, both reluctant to move. Matt had slid sideways off of Mello to avoid squishing him, and their legs had remained tangled together while Matt wrapped his arms around Mello's waist.

"Matt?" Mello said quietly after a few minutes of silence.

"Yeah?"

"Um, have you ever had sex with either of them?" He asked tentatively.

"Either of who?" Matt asked, his brain still feeling like mush. Mello turned sharply to look at him, apparently trying to judge whether he was being stupid on purpose or not. He studied Matt's face suspiciously for a moment and sighed.

"L and Light." Mello finally said in his 'WTF, why are you so retarded?' voice, which never seemed to be used on anyone but Matt.

"Oh! No, of course not." He answered. Mello didn't look convinced. He narrowed his eyes.

"Then what was that all about?"

"What, you mean the whole listening to our sex thing?" Matt asked, even though he knew the obvious question would annoy Mello. And it did annoy Mello, whose only response was to glare at him and nod slowly.

"I don't know what that was about, I thought it was really weird." Matt said.

"Yes it was!" Mello said as if that proved his point, whatever it was.

"You seemed perfectly okay with it when it was happening."

"Well, I was a little preoccupied, if you remember." Mello crossed his arms over his bare chest and stared determinedly up at the ceiling.

"Whatever, it doesn't really matter, does it?" Matt got up on his elbows to look at Mello's face as he said this.

"Are you _sure _you never did anything with them?" Mello responded. Matt rolled his eyes at the blonde's paranoia.

"Yes! I can't believe you're even asking me this!"

"Well, you've been spending a lot of time with them lately…"

"I have not! I went to lunch with them twice, and you were there the first time! That's all the time I've spent with them!"

"You work with them everyday."

"I don't work _with_ them, I merely work in the same building as them."

"Whatever, you're with them all day, and-" Mello's accusation was cut short when a loud, authoritative knock sounded on the door, startling both of them. Matt sat up so quickly that he nearly pushed Mello off the desk.

"Uh, who is it?" Matt stalled as he scrambled to get his clothes back on. He knew who it was, though. A knock like that could only belong to one man.

"Your boss." Mr. Wammy's stern, humorless voice answered from the other side of the door. Matt tried not to panic as he searched for his shirt. He felt a tap on his shoulder and looked up to see Mello holding it out for him.

The blonde was already back in his white dress, but his hair was a mess and without his fake boobs, he didn't really look like a woman so much as an effeminate boy in a dress. Which probably made sense.

But, of course, Wammy already knew Matt was gay, so it shouldn't be too much of a problem if he found out about Mello. The only problem would be if the old man was able to tell that they'd had sex in the office.

Matt froze in the middle of putting on his shirt. The timing of Wammy's visit was suspicious. Oh god, had the man heard them? Well, if L and Light could hear them that well, then why not everyone else?

Matt was horrified at the thought. He had been so caught up in the moment that he hadn't thought about that, but now it seemed so obvious that he could kick himself.

But there was nothing he could do about that now. He just had to focus on the present and hope it was only a coincidence.

When he and Mello were fully dressed, he braced himself and held his breath as he opened the door. Wammy was standing there with L and Light, and he had a fairly unpleasant look on his face. Shit, he had definitely heard them.

"Um, hi." Matt said awkwardly, and Mello took the liberty of hiding behind him. Wammy noticed him anyway.

"Matt, I'd like a word with you in my office please." Wammy said, staring at Mello with a strange expression, but making no comment. He turned and walked to his own office without waiting for a reply, and L and Light followed, looking completely unworried.

Matt walked after them and so did Mello, earning a lot of shocked looks from Matt's coworkers as they crossed the cubicle-filled room.

For some reason, Mello _really_ did not look like a girl just then. It wasn't just the lack of breasts; it was some other elusive quality that he couldn't quite put his finger on. Maybe he was walking differently? That seemed likely.

When Matt entered Wammy's office, the old man gestured for him to sit in one of the three chairs in front of the desk. Matt wondered where Mello would sit until Mr. Wammy spoke up.

"You stay out there, this doesn't concern you." He said very harshly to Mello, who was hovering uncomfortably by the door.

"Hey, don't talk to him that way!" Matt said indignantly.

"It's alright, Matt." Mello said, rolling his eyes as he stepped out the door and pulled it shut behind him.

Mr. Wammy looked very menacing from his executive chair across the desk, especially since the chairs that the other three were told to sit in were probably a foot shorter than his. Matt was sure this was arranged on purpose. Wammy glared at the three of them for a moment before he began to speak.

"So, it has come to my attention that-" He started, but he was cut off by a loud crash that sounded from somewhere outside the door.

"…Hold on a second." He said as he got up and left, slamming the door behind him. Through the door, they could hear him yelling at someone, but they couldn't make out the words. Matt wondered if Mello had started some sort of conflict out there.

The blonde did have a serious temper. But Matt wasn't worried enough to get up and look; Mello could take care of himself. He glanced over at Light and wondered why he didn't look at all nervous to have been summoned to Wammy's office.

He wasn't sure he wanted to talk to his rival at the moment, considering the potential awkwardness after their earlier experience, but he felt he had to.

"You don't think he heard us, do you?" Matt asked him. Light shook his head.

"No, L and I have had sex in that office a thousand times, he would have heard it before now." Light said. Matt didn't want to think about how often they had done it, but it was a comforting fact all the same.

"Light, that is hyperbole. We have only had sex in there thirty-seven times." L said.

"You counted?" Light said amusedly.

"No, I simply remember each time." L said, not looking at him.

"Aw…that's cute, I'll have to tell Misa you said that." Light said teasingly. L shrugged and didn't say anything, but he had a little smile as if he was laughing inwardly.

"Well, how could you hear us so well, then?" Matt asked, blushing a little at the thought of exactly what they had heard. He probably wasn't even aware of half the noises he made.

"Those two offices were once a single conference room, but were subsequently divided into halves by a very thin wall. The other walls are soundproof." L stated monotonously.

"How do you know that?"

"I was working here when they constructed the wall. As were you." L informed him. Matt tried to remember such an occurrence, and vaguely succeeded. There had been construction workers hanging around the building for a while a few years back, but Matt hadn't really paid attention to what they'd been doing.

"…Maybe, but they didn't tell us how thick the wall was." Matt said.

"It is not a structural wall, and therefore does not have to be very thick. It is common sense." L replied. Matt sighed. Everyone seemed to think he was an idiot today. He was beginning to understand what it was like to be Matsuda.

"So Wammy couldn't have heard us then?" He asked.

"Indeed, he could not." L confirmed.

"Then what does he want to talk to us about?" Matt asked. L shrugged. They waited in awkward silence for a few seconds before the door burst open again and Wammy reappeared.

"Sorry for the interruption." He said with an air of restrained frustration as he took his seat.

"So anyway, it has been brought to my attention that it is against company policy to discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation. I have received several complaints from employees who believe that my choice for the assignment of the corner office was inappropriately influenced by Mr. Yagami's rather sudden outing yesterday."

"And they're right." Light pointed out with a subtle bitterness in his voice. Matt stared at the floor, afraid of where this was going.

"Perhaps. And so I'm afraid I have to reverse my decision for the sake of public relations." Wammy said. Light's eyes brightened and Matt flinched. This could not be happening now, not after today.

How could he go back to his cubicle when he had already experienced the pleasures of the office? They had already christened it! He seriously felt like he was going to cry.

He felt Light's gaze on his face, but didn't look up at his old nemesis. That is, not until Light spoke up and said the last thing Matt had ever expected him to say.

"Mr. Wammy, I don't want to take the office from Matt." Light's voice sounded very determined, and Matt found himself shocked beyond words. He gaped at the man in confusion.

"Well, you have to. There's no other way to stifle the complaints." Mr. Wammy said, although some of Matt's confusion was reflected in his voice as well.

"No. I'm not kicking Matt out of his office." Light said firmly, while Matt was still silently puzzled about his motives.

"Then what do you expect me to do about this mess?"

"I don't care, you got yourself into it. You deserve it." Light said coldly. Wammy frowned and then appeared to be thinking for a few seconds.

"…What if you shared the office?" He finally said.

"…I'd be okay with that if Matt would." Light said slowly. Matt and Light looked at each other for a long moment. Light looked very handsome in that moment, with one eyebrow raised in a sort of question. Oh fuck.

Matt took a deep breath.

"Okay." He said reluctantly.

* * *

A/N: So, there is only one more chapter after this one. However, I have officially decided that there shall be a sequel! Hopefully I will come up with a title for it soon so I can tell you what it is at the end of the next chapter. Anyway, reviews are cool. As are the people who leave them for me.


	12. The End

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note.

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Chapter 12: Um…Some Stuff Happens

When Matt left Mr. Wammy's office a few minutes later, he was sort of dazed. He could not believe what had just happened. He was going to be sharing an office with his arch-nemesis, the spawn of Satan himself, Light Yagami.

It may have seemed like Light was being noble in refusing to take Matt's office, but Matt still suspected ulterior motives. What was he planning?

But all of Matt's thoughts about Light left him when he saw what was happening outside Wammy's door. Mello was on the floor, apparently engaged in a wrestling match with Aiber while several of Matt's coworkers stood around and watched.

By then, most of the employees had gone home for the evening, leaving only Matsuda, Wedy, Mikami, and Takada standing in a circle (well, a square really) around Aiber and Mello.

Matsuda and Wedy were cheering Aiber on while the others seemed to be on Mello's side. A very old computer lay smashed on the floor near them, and Matt supposed it had been the source of the crashing noise earlier. Well, whoever owned it should have gotten a new one long ago anyway.

While trying to judge who was winning, Matt just stood there, not sure whether he should help Mello or let him take care of his own fight.

He opted for watching with everyone else as Mello gained the upper hand, getting Aiber in a headlock and pinning him to the floor.

The action caused Mello's dress to be pulled up in such a way that it did little to preserve his modesty, but Mello didn't seem to mind. Matt did, though. He was the only one who was supposed to see up Mello's dress, damn it!

"Okay, what the hell is going on?" Matt finally shouted. Aiber and Mello froze and looked at him, not having realized he was there. Aiber looked angry, and Mello looked perfectly calm.

"Oh, hi Matt." Mello said nonchalantly.

"Hi. What's going on, then?" Matt asked. Mello still didn't answer, so Takada stepped in.

"Aiber made some rather…crude comments and your, uh…friend attacked him." Takada explained.

"What did he say?" Matt asked, and nobody answered. Everyone looked kind of embarrassed.

"Oh, I'm…not going to repeat it." Takada said, just before Matsuda spoke up.

"What? He just called him a fag and told him to…well…" He said, but began blushing furiously and was unable to finish.

"It was kind of disturbing, but very creative." Mello said brightly, standing up and finally smoothing his dress down, much to Matt's relief. He was probably happy because he had pretty much won a fight against a man who was two or three times his size.

Mello was a tough little guy, Matt thought affectionately. Behind him, he heard Wammy's door open and turned around to see L and Light emerge. They both looked around at everyone with curiosity for a moment.

"Aiber, my love, why are you on the floor?" Light asked, his eyebrows drawn together with false concern. Everyone laughed when Aiber turned beet red and clenched his fists.

He looked at Light with pure loathing, and then looked at L with an unreadable expression. Finally, he scrambled to his feet and fled into the stairwell. Matt almost felt sorry for him.

"Well, I'd better get home." Said Mikami, looking at his watch.

"Yeah, me too." Takada agreed, and they left together, soon to be followed by Wedy and Matsuda.

"So, Matt, want to help us move my desk into our office?" Light asked when they had gone. Mello's eyes snapped up to stare at Light.

"Our office? You two are going to be in the same office? Together?" The blonde asked in a dangerous tone.

"Uh, yeah." Matt said uncomfortably. Light looked amused, which was not helping.

"Humph." Mello grumbled, and then he turned around and walked toward the exit.

"Mello, where are you going?" Matt called after him.

"Home. We took different cars anyway." Mello replied, still in that _calm before the storm_ voice.

"Uh, okay." Matt said worriedly, and he went over to Light's old cubicle. It took him, L and Light awhile to maneuver it out of the cube, but once it was out, scooting it across the floor was fairly easy.

They had pushed it about halfway there when Mr. Wammy came out of his office, seemingly ready to go home. He had a look on his face like he was about to make some big, important decision, and he paused to watch the three of them struggle for a moment.

"Lawliet, can I drive you home? I've been thinking, and I think we need to talk…and maybe I need to apologize." Wammy said reluctantly. L bit his thumb for a moment, then nodded.

"Goodnight, Light. I will see you tomorrow." He said. Light shot him a meaningful look, then went to kiss him goodnight.

"Okay, 'night." Light said softly into L's hair afterward. L pulled back and gave him a small smile. Normally Matt would have looked away during this personal moment so as not to intrude, but knowing that they had listened to him and Mello doing much more personal things, he watched them intently and blatantly, almost out of spite.

Light noticed this and chuckled at him as L and Wammy walked away. When the two of them were alone, they found that pushing the desk had gotten a lot more difficult.

They both had to use all their strength to move the desk a few inches at a time. Had L really been helping them that much? Eventually they paused in their endeavor and Light hopped up on the desk to rest.

"So, why was Mello so mad about us sharing the office?" Light asked, leaning back on his hands and crossing his legs.

"Oh, uh…he thinks…uh, that I've been having sex with you and L." Matt explained what he'd understood of Mello's argument.

"Why does he think that?" Light said curiously, tilting his head to the side. He didn't seem surprised though, Matt noted.

"I don't know, I guess it was because of the whole…listening through the wall thing."

"Ah." Light said, but made no further comment. He slid back down off the desk and gestured for Matt to help him push again. Eventually they did get the desk to the office, and they positioned it in the opposite corner from Matt's desk, as far away as it could be, with the hope of pacifying Mello.

"I guess, I'll move my stuff in here tomorrow." Light sighed.

"Yeah, me too." Matt said. Light walked to the door, but stopped and turned around when he got there.

"Well, good luck with Mello tonight." He said with a smirk and a thin layer of innuendo. Matt sighed theatrically and packed up his laptop. Tomorrow was going to be a very long day.

When he got back to the apartment, he saw that Mello was already in bed, pretending to be asleep. It was only about seven o'clock, so Matt rolled his eyes and climbed into the bed with him, wrapping his arms around Mello's waist to pull him up against his chest. He leaned over and licked the shell of Mello's ear, causing the blonde to shiver and open his eyes. He glared at Matt.

"You're not really mad at me, are you?" Matt asked him. Mello sighed and turned around so he was facing Matt.

"No." He said reluctantly.

"Good." Matt replied, nuzzling Mello's neck.

"I don't know what's wrong with me, Matt." Mello said softly.

"There's nothing wrong with you. Except for your paranoia. And your chocolate addiction." Matt said, hugging Mello a little closer.

"If chocolate is wrong, I don't want to be right." Mello said firmly.

"Fair enough."

"But really, I just feel like I've been acting crazy lately…" Mello trailed off, staring at the pattern on the bedspread and tracing it with a finger.

"It's probably just PMS."

"Yeah, maybe." Mello muttered, not really paying attention. Matt started to get up off the bed.

"Hold on, what did you say?" Mello said suddenly, sitting up. Matt laughed and left the room. He went to the kitchen to look for some food, and a few minutes later Mello came in and sat at the counter.

"What if L and Light try to have sex in your office while you're in there?" Mello asked. Matt froze in the middle of chopping a tomato. That possibility hadn't occurred to him, but it seemed like just the sort of evil thing they would do.

"I guess I'll go into L's office and listen through the wall." He said with a shrug. Mello narrowed his eyes, then picked up a piece of tomato and dropped it down Matt's shirt, laughing at him when he squeaked. And for no reason at all!

"Well, maybe it won't be so bad, you sharing an office with Light." Mello said eventually. Matt raised an eyebrow at him.

"Oh, really?"

"No." Mello said, and then he started cackling sadistically. Yeah, tomorrow was going to be a very, very long day.

The End.

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A/N: So, that's it. Review me, dudes. The sequel is currently tentatively titled _Forever and a Week _and the first chapter shall be posted probably sometime in the next two weeks_. _I'm moving back into the dorms on Friday, so I'm not sure when I'll have time. Yeah, titles are not my thing... Some people have a way with words, others...not have way.


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